I really wish that I knew. A while back I shared some thoughts about agency and the multi faceted nature of the concept. Today my mind is occupied by the search for answers, not just for me, but for just about anybody. When I was a teenager it seemed that I had all the answers except for the tests I took in school. Now here I am after 63 years of practice still searching for the answers to the tests that life sends my way. Through the years I have figured out thousands of answers. Some of them have been right useful and others just an accumulation of trivial knowledge. But the conversations I have had with some of my sons over the past week leave me with few answers for them that they seem to be able to use. So I would like to list some of the thoughts that I have been having in an attempt to sort our the best answers for me and those I care about.
The still, small voice can certainly provide us with answers; I am sure of this, having experienced the process.
I am also sure that we often fail to get those answers because of ourselves.
We are often in too big of a hurry to patiently wait for the answer.
Answers require of us a sincere desire to willingly accept the message
That huge stumbling block, worthiness, also enters into the picture
That could easily lead me to the conclusion; if I am not worthy to seek heavenly help in finding an answer then I am simply out of luck.
Although there is a grain of truth to that concept, we have been given other resources to help us find the answers.
Life is meant to be a developmental process not just a winner takes all experience.
Above all our Heavenly Father wants us to succeed and has provided us with leaders, teachers, scriptures, family other sources of information.
He has also provided us with minds that are able to understand and sort through the concepts we are exposed to.
Having all of this to help, wouldn't you think that in 63 years I would understand many of the answers that I need? The trouble is, there are also many other factors entering into the equation. Then to only further complicate matters, these factors are constantly changing. My lifetime of experience can help me to answer questions about problems I have already faced but what about new problems or problems of others who are asking for my help. I sometimes wonder how it can get so complicated and seemingly impossible to resolve.
Another aspect is that we usually see the problems in others long before we see the problems in ourselves.
Along with that we almost always seem to have an answer for someone elses problem but struggle with what to do concerning our own problems.
Why is it so much easier to accept answers requiring action on the part of others, than it is to accept answers which require action on our part?
This all leads me to the belief that we must all find our own answers; even though well meaning suggestions by others sometimes head us in the right direction.
Along with agency is accountability and thank goodness I am only personally responsible for my own actions.
If I refuse to accept the answers or simply won't listen to hear them, in the end I am the one who will receive the consequences.
As parents we would like to push our will onto our children when we see them making poor choices. We are well intentioned, wanting them only to enjoy success and happiness, but unable to see the whole picture. It is my responsibility to set a good example and provide encouragement when needed but I can't make the choices for them. No matter how painful it is to watch their struggles, growth is subdued if I step in to avert the consequences. Being a teenager was hard and I longed for the time when I could be the one in charge. Raising kids is not as easy it it sounds and being the one in charge was often times not much fun. Now that the kids are mostly raised I am still faced with how I can best help them in my role as a loving parent. So it is a wonderful thing that there were many "good times" along the way to make it all worthwhile. Would I do it again, you bet. Would I do it differently, I could certainly make improvements. But most of all I would try harder to recognize and enjoy the "good times" to their fullest.
If you stuck with it and made it to this point then you deserve a medal. But hopefully the time you spent reading my ideas will pay off in more and better "good times" for you and your family.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Is this really a dream come true?
Now back to hug-e-bears continuing saga. Actually hug-e-bear didn't even exist as such at this point since he wouldn't come to pass for a number of years. During this period I was probably more aptly known as "grumpy bear". During the seventies CB radios were the big thing and of course we had to have one. With the CB comes the need for a "handle" or name to use when communicating. For those of you who were born in a more modern time this was actually a verbal form of text messaging. Since there was no such thing as cell phones people used CB radios to communicate with their friends. That is they communicated when the signal was strong enough to do so and their friends actually had the CB on. If you were very lucky and listened very hard you might even be able to communicate cross country by "skipping your signal off of the clouds". Susan even talked with her Dad in Michigan on a couple of occassions.In any case it was sort of an adaptation of the radios that emergency responders and police used. So of course it was necessary to also utililize the code letters such as 10-4 good buddy and nobody used their real name. I really wanted to be "Teddy Bear" but Red Sovine had done a song about someone who used that handle and so I didn't want to step on anyones toes. While trying to come up with something that would sound good on the radio, the best I could do was Grumpy Bear and so for a number of years that was what I used. I didn't really see myself as grumpy but it was something that I could identify with to a degree.
Enough of the bear talk for now and back to reliving the good times in the late seventies. When I last posted we had given up on the idea of a new home on acreage since the bank wasn't real interested in lending me money on a piece of ground. Now if I owned the ground then they would be more than happy to loan me money to build the house. Susan's brother kept on bugging us though about how nice it was to live in the country and he even offered to let me carpool with him if we moved out there. Perhaps it was really just a plot to find someone he could share the drive with since it was about 45 minutes from work, mostly all on the freeway.
Then to my surprise came the following events.
-My parents came to visit us and to pick up another new car at the Chrysler factory in downtown Detroit
-Leo overheard my Dad talking about some land that he and some business partners had invested in, out in Utah
-So naturally Leo mentioned to my Dad about some land that he ought to invest in there in Michigan.
-Anyone who has ever met Leo knows that his blood is the blood of a natural salesman and next thing you know my Dad is agreeing to go take a look at the land.
- After looking at it and hearing that we had been considering building a house there; he said that he might be interested in making the investment.
When Susan and I first decided to get married and headed up to Heber City to tell my folks it was not what you would call a pleasant conversation. My Dad proceeded to tell me that there was no way I was old enough or smart enough to get married. He also made it very clear that he was not about to finance such an idea. Being a banker by trade he was very much into the risk of a venture and he saw our propositon of marriage as being outside the range of reasonable risk. Since we had very little money at the time, perhaps he was right, but since we loved each other we decided to go ahead with it anyway. Well to end the conversation he again told us that he was against the whole thing and that we should not ever expect to come to him for any financial help.
This had the effect of causing me to be determined to show him that he was wrong. I made up my mind that the last thing I would do is go to him and ask for money. Perhaps that was as rash of me as his statements seemed to be. Since I had little more than pocket money and needed to come up with a ring to make this whole proposal a reality we went to see the Jeweler. He agreed to sell us a ring for very little down and a few dollars a month until it was paid for. His assessment of our situation seemed to be much more upbeat than that of my Dad. We were happy and proceeded to plan for the wedding. The interesting thing about the whole affair came as a surprise after we were married. Shortly after we arrived in Michigan to settle down; an envelope came in the mail and in the envelope was a receipt marked paid in full for the engagement ring and wedding band. Somehow my Dad had found out where we bought the ring and paid the jeweler the balance owed. He indicated that he didn't want us to start out our marriage by being in hock for the ring.
Now after the background story it is time to get back to what was going on at the time.
- My Dad proceeds to buy the property and then agree to quit claim the deed to me so that we could use it as collateral on the home loan. He did this however after explaining to me that even though the deed was in my name, the property was family property and he was simply allowing us to use it to build the house on and hopefully increase the value by doing so.
- I had drawn up a scale plan of the home we envisioned building and a friend suggested an architect he knew who would draw us up some working blueprints to build from for a reasonable fee.
-getting bids from two or three builders to determine what the building costs might be.
- finding a builder who would allow us to do enough sweat equity to make the whole deal work
- With the deed, bids and blueprints in hand, having the bank agree to loan us the money we needed to build the house
-listing the house we were living in for sale and actually finding a reliable buyer this time who would allow us some time before needing to move out
- having Leo and Brenda offer to allow us to move in with them while the house was being built. This allowed us to be close enough to actually do the work we had agreed to do and gave us the extra months that the building process required.
- driving out to the property and seeing that some dirt had actually been moved around and the whole process of building a new house was finally under way.
We had agreed to do the following to keep the costs down:
All of the electrical work from rough wiring to installing the plugs and light fixtures.
All of the supply line plumbing including the sinks and faucets
All of the tile work in the bathrooms and entry foyer
All of the painting, both inside and out including the staining and varnishing of the interior window sills, railings and ceiling in the family room as well as the wallpaper hanging
The rock work up the two story face of the fireplace
Arranging for the purchase and installation of all the carpeting
Purchase and installation of the wood stove furnace in the basement
Any finish work to be done in the basement along with the shelves in the food storage room
So we were very busy from about August 1988 to March 1989 when we finally moved in and still had a few things to finish up even then. After working all day I spent most every spare minute working on the house and it was tiring but there was a very good feeling to be able to look back on having done it. It was indeed one of the good times and created the opportunity for numerous good times to follow. Who needed a trailer when we lived in the woods? It was great to come home from work and feel like you were camping while sleeping in your own bed. When it really snowed during the winter you could honestly say that you had to take the day off because you were snowed in. Most of the time however we kept the road open by using a blade on the back of an old Ford 9N tractor we bought. Even out pushing snow when it was biting cold provided its share of good times. Put on the old snowmobile suit, heavy mittens and hat and head off down the road. Little did we realize in the beginning what changes (mostly positive) lay ahead for us. While there though we met some of the nicest people we have ever met and had some of the best times that life has to offer.
Enough of the bear talk for now and back to reliving the good times in the late seventies. When I last posted we had given up on the idea of a new home on acreage since the bank wasn't real interested in lending me money on a piece of ground. Now if I owned the ground then they would be more than happy to loan me money to build the house. Susan's brother kept on bugging us though about how nice it was to live in the country and he even offered to let me carpool with him if we moved out there. Perhaps it was really just a plot to find someone he could share the drive with since it was about 45 minutes from work, mostly all on the freeway.
Then to my surprise came the following events.
-My parents came to visit us and to pick up another new car at the Chrysler factory in downtown Detroit
-Leo overheard my Dad talking about some land that he and some business partners had invested in, out in Utah
-So naturally Leo mentioned to my Dad about some land that he ought to invest in there in Michigan.
-Anyone who has ever met Leo knows that his blood is the blood of a natural salesman and next thing you know my Dad is agreeing to go take a look at the land.
- After looking at it and hearing that we had been considering building a house there; he said that he might be interested in making the investment.
When Susan and I first decided to get married and headed up to Heber City to tell my folks it was not what you would call a pleasant conversation. My Dad proceeded to tell me that there was no way I was old enough or smart enough to get married. He also made it very clear that he was not about to finance such an idea. Being a banker by trade he was very much into the risk of a venture and he saw our propositon of marriage as being outside the range of reasonable risk. Since we had very little money at the time, perhaps he was right, but since we loved each other we decided to go ahead with it anyway. Well to end the conversation he again told us that he was against the whole thing and that we should not ever expect to come to him for any financial help.
This had the effect of causing me to be determined to show him that he was wrong. I made up my mind that the last thing I would do is go to him and ask for money. Perhaps that was as rash of me as his statements seemed to be. Since I had little more than pocket money and needed to come up with a ring to make this whole proposal a reality we went to see the Jeweler. He agreed to sell us a ring for very little down and a few dollars a month until it was paid for. His assessment of our situation seemed to be much more upbeat than that of my Dad. We were happy and proceeded to plan for the wedding. The interesting thing about the whole affair came as a surprise after we were married. Shortly after we arrived in Michigan to settle down; an envelope came in the mail and in the envelope was a receipt marked paid in full for the engagement ring and wedding band. Somehow my Dad had found out where we bought the ring and paid the jeweler the balance owed. He indicated that he didn't want us to start out our marriage by being in hock for the ring.
Now after the background story it is time to get back to what was going on at the time.
- My Dad proceeds to buy the property and then agree to quit claim the deed to me so that we could use it as collateral on the home loan. He did this however after explaining to me that even though the deed was in my name, the property was family property and he was simply allowing us to use it to build the house on and hopefully increase the value by doing so.
- I had drawn up a scale plan of the home we envisioned building and a friend suggested an architect he knew who would draw us up some working blueprints to build from for a reasonable fee.
-getting bids from two or three builders to determine what the building costs might be.
- finding a builder who would allow us to do enough sweat equity to make the whole deal work
- With the deed, bids and blueprints in hand, having the bank agree to loan us the money we needed to build the house
-listing the house we were living in for sale and actually finding a reliable buyer this time who would allow us some time before needing to move out
- having Leo and Brenda offer to allow us to move in with them while the house was being built. This allowed us to be close enough to actually do the work we had agreed to do and gave us the extra months that the building process required.
- driving out to the property and seeing that some dirt had actually been moved around and the whole process of building a new house was finally under way.
We had agreed to do the following to keep the costs down:
All of the electrical work from rough wiring to installing the plugs and light fixtures.
All of the supply line plumbing including the sinks and faucets
All of the tile work in the bathrooms and entry foyer
All of the painting, both inside and out including the staining and varnishing of the interior window sills, railings and ceiling in the family room as well as the wallpaper hanging
The rock work up the two story face of the fireplace
Arranging for the purchase and installation of all the carpeting
Purchase and installation of the wood stove furnace in the basement
Any finish work to be done in the basement along with the shelves in the food storage room
So we were very busy from about August 1988 to March 1989 when we finally moved in and still had a few things to finish up even then. After working all day I spent most every spare minute working on the house and it was tiring but there was a very good feeling to be able to look back on having done it. It was indeed one of the good times and created the opportunity for numerous good times to follow. Who needed a trailer when we lived in the woods? It was great to come home from work and feel like you were camping while sleeping in your own bed. When it really snowed during the winter you could honestly say that you had to take the day off because you were snowed in. Most of the time however we kept the road open by using a blade on the back of an old Ford 9N tractor we bought. Even out pushing snow when it was biting cold provided its share of good times. Put on the old snowmobile suit, heavy mittens and hat and head off down the road. Little did we realize in the beginning what changes (mostly positive) lay ahead for us. While there though we met some of the nicest people we have ever met and had some of the best times that life has to offer.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Alas, have we used up all the good times in Utah?
I actually got laid off twice from Hercules and the first time I again followed my good friend Norm to Eimco in downtown in Salt Lake. Working straight nights was not one of the better good times, even though it allowed for a little golf. I was there for about six months before getting called back to Hercules and I went back gladly. It again was a learning experience and had it's interesting moments. I especially liked the handiwork of the night welder who I had to call on when 4" bored hole I was working on turned out a little too big. He was supposed to just put a light coat of weld around the ID so that I could try again to hold the right size. Instead when he got done it looked like the inside of Timpanogas cave. There were monumental size stalagtites and stalagmites both. I could barely get a 1" boring bar to go through the hole to start over again. Then there was the worker who fell asleep and bored right through the part on the lathe into the chuck. He woke up when the chuck was completely bored off from the machine and began to rattle around on his boring bar. And we can't forget the batch of castings that a buyer got a good deal on. It had a bunch of armor plate in it which was melted down along with the other steel which left the castings almost impossible to machine. It certainly served the purpose at the time but I was again anxious to return to the friendly confines of the Hercules Machine shop even though most of the machines were World War II vintage.
When I got laid off the second time my wife at the time, Susan, decided that she had seen enough of Utah and longed to be closer to her family, especially her sister. So rather than look for a new job I agreed to sign on with the family machine shop in Michigan and we prepared to move back. This time it was more of an adventure since my in-laws came out to help us move back and of course we had to bring the boat along. So the good times take up again with their arrival.
- a family trip to Disneyland before the move in the in-laws motor home!
- my first experience with a real estate agent as we needed to sell the house-I only include this along with the good times to document the process to follow
- having my good friend Norm help me load up the truck even though he had moved on to Geneva Steel without me.
- having the real estate agent tell us that he had found a qualified buyer for our Utah home
- seeing the boat headed for all the Michigan lakes on the back of the motor home
- having two year old Brian ride in the moving truck with me
- arriving in Michigan with a job but no car and no place to live-except temporarily with the in-laws; what an opportunity to move forward
- finding a new home in Michigan and coming up with the money to make a down payment
- moving into the new home with a finished basement, two kitchens and two bathrooms
- having my choice of nice lakes to go to with only a half hours drive
- seeing my wife happy to be able to visit her sister as often as she wants
- reconnecting with my old friends Tom & Jan Clark and again visiting his father's cottage
-receiving an offer to work for a prestigious Tool Shop in the area for more money and new opportunities-Dunn Tool
- again learning new job skills and accepting greater responsibilities
- finding out that the deal on our Utah home had fallen through but being able to scrape up enough money to fly out there in order to straighten out the mess
- finally closing on a real buyer when the Utah house eventually sold
- going to the first Star Wars movie and finding it exhilarating
- being part of the bowling team from work and laughing while I watched the other guys get drunk and make fools of themselves while I feasted on Coca Cola
- too many get togethers with Susan's sister's family to count - those were good times!!
- seeing for the first time a very intriguing piece of land that Susan's brother had found south of Howell MI
- what a dream, to own a new home of our own design on 12 1/2 acres of land that borders forest service property - too bad it doesn't seem possible at this point
It is interesting how circumstances change over the years and how people you thought that you could count on the least, turn out to be allies. The future holds many opportunities that we can't possibly see at the time but they come to pass just the same. I have been the recipient of countless good deeds from other people over my life. I have also been very blessed by my Heavenly Father. It is difficult to feel anything but grateful when I look at the sum of the good and bad that has happened. I now find myself in a caring and loving relationship despite my missteps in life and for that I will be eternally grateful.
When I got laid off the second time my wife at the time, Susan, decided that she had seen enough of Utah and longed to be closer to her family, especially her sister. So rather than look for a new job I agreed to sign on with the family machine shop in Michigan and we prepared to move back. This time it was more of an adventure since my in-laws came out to help us move back and of course we had to bring the boat along. So the good times take up again with their arrival.
- a family trip to Disneyland before the move in the in-laws motor home!
- my first experience with a real estate agent as we needed to sell the house-I only include this along with the good times to document the process to follow
- having my good friend Norm help me load up the truck even though he had moved on to Geneva Steel without me.
- having the real estate agent tell us that he had found a qualified buyer for our Utah home
- seeing the boat headed for all the Michigan lakes on the back of the motor home
- having two year old Brian ride in the moving truck with me
- arriving in Michigan with a job but no car and no place to live-except temporarily with the in-laws; what an opportunity to move forward
- finding a new home in Michigan and coming up with the money to make a down payment
- moving into the new home with a finished basement, two kitchens and two bathrooms
- having my choice of nice lakes to go to with only a half hours drive
- seeing my wife happy to be able to visit her sister as often as she wants
- reconnecting with my old friends Tom & Jan Clark and again visiting his father's cottage
-receiving an offer to work for a prestigious Tool Shop in the area for more money and new opportunities-Dunn Tool
- again learning new job skills and accepting greater responsibilities
- finding out that the deal on our Utah home had fallen through but being able to scrape up enough money to fly out there in order to straighten out the mess
- finally closing on a real buyer when the Utah house eventually sold
- going to the first Star Wars movie and finding it exhilarating
- being part of the bowling team from work and laughing while I watched the other guys get drunk and make fools of themselves while I feasted on Coca Cola
- too many get togethers with Susan's sister's family to count - those were good times!!
- seeing for the first time a very intriguing piece of land that Susan's brother had found south of Howell MI
- what a dream, to own a new home of our own design on 12 1/2 acres of land that borders forest service property - too bad it doesn't seem possible at this point
It is interesting how circumstances change over the years and how people you thought that you could count on the least, turn out to be allies. The future holds many opportunities that we can't possibly see at the time but they come to pass just the same. I have been the recipient of countless good deeds from other people over my life. I have also been very blessed by my Heavenly Father. It is difficult to feel anything but grateful when I look at the sum of the good and bad that has happened. I now find myself in a caring and loving relationship despite my missteps in life and for that I will be eternally grateful.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Do people in Utah really have good times?
Utah is always getting criticized for the restrictive alcohol laws or the fact that stores want to be closed on Sundays. Those Mormons are all a bunch of fuddy-duddys who wouldn't recognize a good time if it was staring them in the face. They even have the old fashioned notion that you ought to get married before you have sex. Well many people in the world may believe those wild stories but I am here to tell you that there are good times to be found in Utah and you don't have to get drunk to find them either. How many places can you live where you can golf in the morning and go skiing in the afternoon? Personally I don't do much of either but still manage to enjoy a good time now and then. Here are just a few of the better ones that still stand out in my mind.
- Driving up the canyon for a cool picnic under the pine trees when it is 100 degrees in town
- Did I say that I didn't do much golfing? Well there was a time when I enjoyed that diversion on a regular basis and working afternoons provided the perfect opportunity
- Living close enough to go pick fresh raspberries from my grandfather's berry patch
-Living close enough to walk to church again
- Finding out from my Dad (the banker) that I would qualify for an interest subsidized home loan on a brand new home.
- Also finding out that the house payment would be less than the rent I was already paying
- Following my new best friend Norm from Wasatch Foundry to United Precision - a new job, better pay, more hours and a chance to learn how to operated new machines.
- Dropping by every few days to see our new house take shape from the ground up.
- Stopping by the gas station and filling up for 30 cents a gallon
- Watching the carpenter set up his table saw and build our kitchen cabinets on the spot
- Packing up our belongings and heading for the cornfield in West Jordan-that is what it was before they started building our subdivision.
- Following Norm again from United Precision to Hercules in Magna-if only I had stayed in the new house in West Jordan and continued to work for Hercules I could have retired by now!
- By this time I was earning a whopping $5.00 an hour.
- Discovering the Salt Lake Golden Eagles hockey team at the old Salt Palace
- Making all of the extended families Christmas gifts by hand out of leather
- Getting together with Eldred Bills (my neighbor across the street) and watching Monday Night Football with Howard Cosell, Don Meredith and friends
- When football season ended, getting together with Eldred to build a doll house for his daughters and a model train layout for my sons.
- At 5:00 in the morning finally getting the new train set I had bought for Christmas to work
- Dealing with my addiction to water skiing by ordering a new jet boat with a 455 olds engine
- Hooking up my new boat and heading for Utah Lake or Deer Creek Reservoir before either was a state park
- Watching the poor fellow at Utah Lake who had unhooked his trailer from the truck instead of launching the boat from the trailer try to figure out how to recover his BOAT & TRAILER!!!
- Finally mastering slalom skiing and buying my own Connelly wood ski
- Building a new two car garage to house my new boat and the car
- Calling work to take the day off when I woke up and discovered 4 foot drifts everywhere
- Working 12 hours a day for seven days straight before being laid off from Hercules
You may have noticed by now that the good times are almost inevitably a two edged sword. The interesting part is that there is no set order to when the lows and the highs occur. We seem to have plenty of both but it is usually the highs that are worth remembering. But then any event we survived and can look back at with a certain amount of satisfaction or amusement can usually be considered one of the good times. As I have said before, many times they only qualify to be on the good list after a considerable amount of time has passed Hopefully you are not only taking time to "smell the roses" as you journey through life but are picking a few of them to share with those you care most about.
- Driving up the canyon for a cool picnic under the pine trees when it is 100 degrees in town
- Did I say that I didn't do much golfing? Well there was a time when I enjoyed that diversion on a regular basis and working afternoons provided the perfect opportunity
- Living close enough to go pick fresh raspberries from my grandfather's berry patch
-Living close enough to walk to church again
- Finding out from my Dad (the banker) that I would qualify for an interest subsidized home loan on a brand new home.
- Also finding out that the house payment would be less than the rent I was already paying
- Following my new best friend Norm from Wasatch Foundry to United Precision - a new job, better pay, more hours and a chance to learn how to operated new machines.
- Dropping by every few days to see our new house take shape from the ground up.
- Stopping by the gas station and filling up for 30 cents a gallon
- Watching the carpenter set up his table saw and build our kitchen cabinets on the spot
- Packing up our belongings and heading for the cornfield in West Jordan-that is what it was before they started building our subdivision.
- Following Norm again from United Precision to Hercules in Magna-if only I had stayed in the new house in West Jordan and continued to work for Hercules I could have retired by now!
- By this time I was earning a whopping $5.00 an hour.
- Discovering the Salt Lake Golden Eagles hockey team at the old Salt Palace
- Making all of the extended families Christmas gifts by hand out of leather
- Getting together with Eldred Bills (my neighbor across the street) and watching Monday Night Football with Howard Cosell, Don Meredith and friends
- When football season ended, getting together with Eldred to build a doll house for his daughters and a model train layout for my sons.
- At 5:00 in the morning finally getting the new train set I had bought for Christmas to work
- Dealing with my addiction to water skiing by ordering a new jet boat with a 455 olds engine
- Hooking up my new boat and heading for Utah Lake or Deer Creek Reservoir before either was a state park
- Watching the poor fellow at Utah Lake who had unhooked his trailer from the truck instead of launching the boat from the trailer try to figure out how to recover his BOAT & TRAILER!!!
- Finally mastering slalom skiing and buying my own Connelly wood ski
- Building a new two car garage to house my new boat and the car
- Calling work to take the day off when I woke up and discovered 4 foot drifts everywhere
- Working 12 hours a day for seven days straight before being laid off from Hercules
You may have noticed by now that the good times are almost inevitably a two edged sword. The interesting part is that there is no set order to when the lows and the highs occur. We seem to have plenty of both but it is usually the highs that are worth remembering. But then any event we survived and can look back at with a certain amount of satisfaction or amusement can usually be considered one of the good times. As I have said before, many times they only qualify to be on the good list after a considerable amount of time has passed Hopefully you are not only taking time to "smell the roses" as you journey through life but are picking a few of them to share with those you care most about.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Let the good times roll, ...again!
Now for more of the good times that I have been reminded of.
-having relatives come pick us up in central Iowa when Grandpa Caccia's car broke down on the way to Utah- he had a Lincoln that he let us borrow since it didn't get driven much any more- bad idea since the motor seized up because it had sat around so much
- being able to get last minute airline tickets so we could fly to Utah for my sister's wedding - she was marrying my best friend I hadn't seen for four years because of our mission's
- realizing that I might be earning enough money to buy a brand new car
- deciding on a specific car and ordering it exactly the way I wanted it
- picking up my new Buick GS 400 and taking it out for the first drive
- stepping on the gas and feeling that surge of power as the four barrel carburetor kicks in
- being able to move out of our tiny apt. into the house next door
- going out to the lake with Tom & Jan Clark to go water skiing-I think I'm becoming addicted
- having a brand new car to drive on our family vacation to Utah - all four or us.
- jumping into the swimming pool after a long day of driving
- being able to sleep in your own bed again after an extended vacation
- surviving the crash that totaled my new Buick with only a bump on my forehead
- managing to purchase a new Plymouth Satellite Sebring with the measly settlement I got from the insurance company
- finally buying the last box of diapers since the two boys were now potty trained
- passing my last class to qualify for a Journeyman Tool & Gage Maker's certificate - it helped me to get more than one job
-loading every worldly posession into a modest U-Haul truck for the move to Utah - we had moved up from the Chevy Convertible to the truck and an orange Plymouth
- arriving in Utah without someone stealing our stuff - now what do we do?
My parents were kind enough to allow us to stay with them for a while in order to arrange for an apt and look for a job. Luckily we managed to find both the first week and so we were now ready to move on to Salt Lake and settle in for a while. I went to work for Wasatch Foundry which was night and day opposite of Val-U-Tool where I had worked for the past 4 years. It was a change but the basic skills required were pretty much the same. Working there I met a fellow who was to become my best friend for the next 4 years. We were now close enough to visit my all of my family on a regular basis but then the family vacations became a trip to Michigan to visit with my wife's family again. Well enough for today, now that we are settled in Salt Lake I will pause and pick up from there in a future blog.
-having relatives come pick us up in central Iowa when Grandpa Caccia's car broke down on the way to Utah- he had a Lincoln that he let us borrow since it didn't get driven much any more- bad idea since the motor seized up because it had sat around so much
- being able to get last minute airline tickets so we could fly to Utah for my sister's wedding - she was marrying my best friend I hadn't seen for four years because of our mission's
- realizing that I might be earning enough money to buy a brand new car
- deciding on a specific car and ordering it exactly the way I wanted it
- picking up my new Buick GS 400 and taking it out for the first drive
- stepping on the gas and feeling that surge of power as the four barrel carburetor kicks in
- being able to move out of our tiny apt. into the house next door
- going out to the lake with Tom & Jan Clark to go water skiing-I think I'm becoming addicted
- having a brand new car to drive on our family vacation to Utah - all four or us.
- jumping into the swimming pool after a long day of driving
- being able to sleep in your own bed again after an extended vacation
- surviving the crash that totaled my new Buick with only a bump on my forehead
- managing to purchase a new Plymouth Satellite Sebring with the measly settlement I got from the insurance company
- finally buying the last box of diapers since the two boys were now potty trained
- passing my last class to qualify for a Journeyman Tool & Gage Maker's certificate - it helped me to get more than one job
-loading every worldly posession into a modest U-Haul truck for the move to Utah - we had moved up from the Chevy Convertible to the truck and an orange Plymouth
- arriving in Utah without someone stealing our stuff - now what do we do?
My parents were kind enough to allow us to stay with them for a while in order to arrange for an apt and look for a job. Luckily we managed to find both the first week and so we were now ready to move on to Salt Lake and settle in for a while. I went to work for Wasatch Foundry which was night and day opposite of Val-U-Tool where I had worked for the past 4 years. It was a change but the basic skills required were pretty much the same. Working there I met a fellow who was to become my best friend for the next 4 years. We were now close enough to visit my all of my family on a regular basis but then the family vacations became a trip to Michigan to visit with my wife's family again. Well enough for today, now that we are settled in Salt Lake I will pause and pick up from there in a future blog.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
The parts are greater than the whole!!
In reading some of the blogs of others I am struck by the realization of the effect we all have on one another. We each individually record our thoughts about life around us and the things we encounter as well as the reaction we have to them. These individual efforts create a much broader canvas of thought that tends to flesh out the original ideas and create a greater understanding of the "big picture". We are struck by the humor in the ideas and we feel a certain kinship with the difficulties that others are experiencing. We come to better understand one another in a different way than we sometimes do through direct personal interaction. Our blog is a place where we can perhaps unload ideas that would otherwise grow to be a burden. It is truly therapeutic to just put into words some of the feelings and frustrations that we are experiencing.
I recently read an entry in my sister's blog that struck home with me. She was venting about problems she was having with the phone company. I have been there a number of times through the years and have often wondered why it had to be so difficult. It seems like there is no one person we can speak to that will help us with the problem. We are always referred to a supervisor or some other department. My frustration with the phone company have ended though now that I have wireless broadcast internet and no home phone. I simply have no reason to interact with them in any way. But there are endless other instances where I need to get the problem resolved and no one seems able to help me. I wish that phone trees had never been invented because they are the most annoying part of the process. I can't even call my local credit union or the post office without being connected to some central "answering service" that usually can't answer my question anyway. I sympathize with the travails of others and pray that someday, somehow real personal service will again be part of our lives.
It is also good to read the thoughts and reactions of my niece in regard to agency. By taking the experiences and thoughts of others on a subject and weaving them into a better understanding of our own thoughts, we all benefit. It is certainly true that we all wish we had done many things better. We also wish that we hadn't done some things at all. But in the end it is the exercise of agency by others that causes us the most frustration. I certainly would never want to take away the agency of others but wish that it affected me less. The only one that we have control over though is ourselves and so I must do all that I can to avoid causing others grief by my actions. We had an enjoyable 4th of July and hope that everyone else out there did as well. Let's all just keep plugging along and do the best that we can.
I recently read an entry in my sister's blog that struck home with me. She was venting about problems she was having with the phone company. I have been there a number of times through the years and have often wondered why it had to be so difficult. It seems like there is no one person we can speak to that will help us with the problem. We are always referred to a supervisor or some other department. My frustration with the phone company have ended though now that I have wireless broadcast internet and no home phone. I simply have no reason to interact with them in any way. But there are endless other instances where I need to get the problem resolved and no one seems able to help me. I wish that phone trees had never been invented because they are the most annoying part of the process. I can't even call my local credit union or the post office without being connected to some central "answering service" that usually can't answer my question anyway. I sympathize with the travails of others and pray that someday, somehow real personal service will again be part of our lives.
It is also good to read the thoughts and reactions of my niece in regard to agency. By taking the experiences and thoughts of others on a subject and weaving them into a better understanding of our own thoughts, we all benefit. It is certainly true that we all wish we had done many things better. We also wish that we hadn't done some things at all. But in the end it is the exercise of agency by others that causes us the most frustration. I certainly would never want to take away the agency of others but wish that it affected me less. The only one that we have control over though is ourselves and so I must do all that I can to avoid causing others grief by my actions. We had an enjoyable 4th of July and hope that everyone else out there did as well. Let's all just keep plugging along and do the best that we can.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
How to get more good times---
I am going to stray away from my chronology of the good times to share some of my feelings about what causes them. The root of the discussion is free agency; how important it is, how wise use of it brings about good times and how the use of it affects others. To start with, agency is the very basis of our life here on earth and actually one of the reasons that we are here. It is indeed our Heavenly Father's plan. Developing the ability to make good choices is both the key to our success and perhaps the hardest thing we will do here in this life. With the ever increasing multitude of influences attempting to sway us away from the "right choice" it only becomes more difficult. Yet the only way to obtain or increase "the good times" is to become better at making the right choice.
The reason for that is we are given the right to make our own choices but we have no control over the result or consequences of those choices. We choose and then, as the song goes, "let the consequences follow". Unfortunately these end results of our choices are not always easily seen at the time we make the choice. This tells us that perhaps we should try to look at and understand what result our choice will have. I totally support the principal of agency and the right of others to make their own choices. I have been blessed by the results of good choices and I have unfortunately also been confronted with the results of bad choices. It is however the choices of others and the result that they have had on me that sometimes causes me the most concern. Part of that is because I care about them and want them to experience the good times.
The other part of that is the grief that someone elses poor choice to bring to many around them.
I would like to suggest some possible choices for you to ponder on the consequences of those choices to others. In doing so I am only attempting to share some of my feelings and not to condemn anyone. Again, we all have the right to choose but hopefully we will attempt to consider the consequences of those choices as well as the effect on those around us.
What if-----
I choose to take something that doesn't belong to me?
I choose to say things which aren't true about others?
I choose to start smoking?
I choose to eat more than is healthy for me?
I find better things to do than go to church?
I see no harm in being intimate with those other than my spouse?
School is a bore so I have better things to do with my time?
I fail to complete assigned responsibilities that are given to me?
I choose to get even when I feel that I have been offended or wronged?
This job is too tough for me so I choose to quit?
My "friends" offer me a drink and I accept, not wanting to offend them?
I choose to end an eternal commitment by filing for divorce?
I have the attitude that I am going to make sure that I get what is coming to me regardless?
I can always change tomorrow since I am busy or too tired today?
I've decided that living part of what I believe is good enough- it is better than none?
The plan is simply enjoy today because tomorrow may never come?
Well enough attempt at stimulation for today. I need this exercise once in a while in order to try and get my priotities back in line. It doesn't always work for me since I do have the right of agency but the consequences are ever present. Hopefully it will help to spark a desire for change in you as well. Agency is the best gift we have been given but only wise use of it will increase the value. The good times lie just around the corner as well as in the past but will we do what is needed to enjoy them? Next time back to more of the good times. Oh, and by the way some of our good times come as a result of good choices others have made so help those you care about by making good choices.
The reason for that is we are given the right to make our own choices but we have no control over the result or consequences of those choices. We choose and then, as the song goes, "let the consequences follow". Unfortunately these end results of our choices are not always easily seen at the time we make the choice. This tells us that perhaps we should try to look at and understand what result our choice will have. I totally support the principal of agency and the right of others to make their own choices. I have been blessed by the results of good choices and I have unfortunately also been confronted with the results of bad choices. It is however the choices of others and the result that they have had on me that sometimes causes me the most concern. Part of that is because I care about them and want them to experience the good times.
The other part of that is the grief that someone elses poor choice to bring to many around them.
I would like to suggest some possible choices for you to ponder on the consequences of those choices to others. In doing so I am only attempting to share some of my feelings and not to condemn anyone. Again, we all have the right to choose but hopefully we will attempt to consider the consequences of those choices as well as the effect on those around us.
What if-----
I choose to take something that doesn't belong to me?
I choose to say things which aren't true about others?
I choose to start smoking?
I choose to eat more than is healthy for me?
I find better things to do than go to church?
I see no harm in being intimate with those other than my spouse?
School is a bore so I have better things to do with my time?
I fail to complete assigned responsibilities that are given to me?
I choose to get even when I feel that I have been offended or wronged?
This job is too tough for me so I choose to quit?
My "friends" offer me a drink and I accept, not wanting to offend them?
I choose to end an eternal commitment by filing for divorce?
I have the attitude that I am going to make sure that I get what is coming to me regardless?
I can always change tomorrow since I am busy or too tired today?
I've decided that living part of what I believe is good enough- it is better than none?
The plan is simply enjoy today because tomorrow may never come?
Well enough attempt at stimulation for today. I need this exercise once in a while in order to try and get my priotities back in line. It doesn't always work for me since I do have the right of agency but the consequences are ever present. Hopefully it will help to spark a desire for change in you as well. Agency is the best gift we have been given but only wise use of it will increase the value. The good times lie just around the corner as well as in the past but will we do what is needed to enjoy them? Next time back to more of the good times. Oh, and by the way some of our good times come as a result of good choices others have made so help those you care about by making good choices.
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