The election is now over and unfortunately the country is not better off as a result of what has taken place. It is sad to see so many people swayed by the promises which were made to get elected. Bill Clinton was one of the first examples of a politician who had significant succes by basing his words and actions on what he believed that people wanted to hear. Now we have a new candidate who has worked to perfect the principle and as a result he was elected to be the President of the United States. When so little is known about the man and what he truly believes it is a scary propostion to find those answers after the election. The similarity is hard to miss between Barack Obama and many of the silver tongued trouble makers we read about in the Book of Mormon. Their promises were grandiose and the spoke many "soothing words" which caused large numbers of people to fall victim to their real intentions.
As a citizen it is my responsibility to support those who have been chosen to be our leaders and I will endeavor to do so. We can only hope that the system of government with its checks and balances will function in a way that preserves the freedoms we now enjoy. Perhaps a lesson will be learned by many about believing everything they hear. Unfortunately though the whole campaign and election process has gotten out of control. The very best of candidates won't run or are drummed out of the process because of the cost; not only of money but the personal and family costs that the candidates are put through. Mitt Romney is a good example of what happens to a truly capable person with real values when they choose to run. He was drummed out of the campaign because his standards and values were ridiculed even by those masquerading as real representatives of Christian values.
The campaign which as gone on now for close to two years was excessive in almost any way that it can be measured. The long campaign didn't provide us with any more information regarding the candidates than we could have gleaned from a month long campaign. It has been hard to not be sick and tired of hearing the same things over and over again ad nauseum. Thank goodness now that is over for at least a few months. They say that you don't have right to complain if you didn't vote. My vote didn't do much to change the results but at least I get this opportunity to vent my feelings and hopefully not offend too many people. If I really do want to affect the outcome then perhaps I should start now to promote good, gualified and principled candidates for the future. If I can find one who is willing to submit themselves to the onslaught of the campaign. At least let us all work to be better citizens and to stand up and be heard about those principles that truly are of lasting worth.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Beautiful southern Utah scenery
We awoke on the morning of the third day and decided to head north out of Cortez to see what we could find to explore. We came to a sign pointing us toward the Anasazi Discovery Center and thought that sounded like a fun place to visit. They showed us a short film detailing the ancient civilizations which had lived in the area. With an ever growing need for water in the area the modern day residents decided to build a dam. There was a natural shaped valley that lent itself to the creation of a reservoir where a large amount of water could be stored. They began to excavate for the construction of the dam when they started to uncover a large number of indian artifacts. So they immediately called in the archeaologists and they started to search more carefully while cataloging the discoveries. As the volume of items grew, it was decided to erect a museum in the area where they could be stored and displayed for many to view. That is how the center came to be.
Now there is a beautiful reservoir that can be used for recreation as well as for better use of the water resources of the area. And on the shore is this building containing a huge number of artifacts and displays. It was very interesting to see the story that all of these items tell and to marvel at the skills they had considering the crude impements and methods that were used. Much like the people who inhabited Mesa Verde, it is felt that the site was not occupied for hundreds of years but for perhaps only a couple of hundred years. It was also interesting to hear what the modern day pueblo dwelling indians had to say about these ancestors and the link they had with them through oral geneaologies handed down through the generations. I would reccomend that anyone who is in the area stop in for a very enjoyable visit.
Once we were done there, we headed almost due west for another site called Hovenweep. There is also a national monument museum there and a number of dwellings which are built in and around a large ravine. The hike is about 1 1/2 miles around the outside rim and again it is a wonder that these sites have remained as well as they have through the years. Unlike many of the dwellings built under cliff overhangs, these were built out in the open and so the weather has had more of an effect on them. Most of them were smaller buildings scattered about rather than a large number of dwellings built together in one place.
From here we again headed west across the reservation to hook up with the main highway in the area of Blanding. Once on the highway, we headed north with the intent of staying in Monticello for the night. We were feeling hungry for a delicious hamburger and so when we came to a little drive through in Blanding we stopped and the hamburgers were both huge and delicious. We arrived in Monticello while it was still fairly early in the evening and so we decided to check into the motel and then drive on up north a ways to the Canyonlands overlook. It was worth the trip and consisted mostly of a couple of high bluffs from which you can look out over the Canyonlands proper. You can see all of the four wheeling trails that people have carved in their exploring and the Colorado river snaking it's way South towards Lake Powell. The area that has been carved out is many miles wide and runs as far as you can see both to the left and to the right. The beauty of the rugged country and the infinite variety of rock formations are part of a very desolate area and yet it is not without its unique charm and appeal. We also drove up a very beautiful but rather small canyon to a place called Newspaper rock where numerous ancient dwellers left the pictures of their lives and travels as they came through the area. It is the largest single collection of pictographs and etchings that I have ever seen. By this time it was starting to get dark and so we headed back to the motel.
As we were sitting in our room and the sun was going down, Brenda looked out our window and there was a very beautful view of the Monticello temple behind us. As we sat admiring the view a small herd of deer crossed through the plowed field as they traversed from one patch of trees to another. It was fun to watch them and they added even more appeal to the picture we saw. Another great day just traveling on the way home and catching some never before seen sights. The people come and go but the sights in this area change very little from generation to generation. Of course adventures like this are always better when you have someone to share them with. I definitely have one of the best traveling companions that I could ask for. She is always upbeat, pleasant to be around and ready for the next opportunity to hit the road and take in more sights.
Now there is a beautiful reservoir that can be used for recreation as well as for better use of the water resources of the area. And on the shore is this building containing a huge number of artifacts and displays. It was very interesting to see the story that all of these items tell and to marvel at the skills they had considering the crude impements and methods that were used. Much like the people who inhabited Mesa Verde, it is felt that the site was not occupied for hundreds of years but for perhaps only a couple of hundred years. It was also interesting to hear what the modern day pueblo dwelling indians had to say about these ancestors and the link they had with them through oral geneaologies handed down through the generations. I would reccomend that anyone who is in the area stop in for a very enjoyable visit.
Once we were done there, we headed almost due west for another site called Hovenweep. There is also a national monument museum there and a number of dwellings which are built in and around a large ravine. The hike is about 1 1/2 miles around the outside rim and again it is a wonder that these sites have remained as well as they have through the years. Unlike many of the dwellings built under cliff overhangs, these were built out in the open and so the weather has had more of an effect on them. Most of them were smaller buildings scattered about rather than a large number of dwellings built together in one place.
From here we again headed west across the reservation to hook up with the main highway in the area of Blanding. Once on the highway, we headed north with the intent of staying in Monticello for the night. We were feeling hungry for a delicious hamburger and so when we came to a little drive through in Blanding we stopped and the hamburgers were both huge and delicious. We arrived in Monticello while it was still fairly early in the evening and so we decided to check into the motel and then drive on up north a ways to the Canyonlands overlook. It was worth the trip and consisted mostly of a couple of high bluffs from which you can look out over the Canyonlands proper. You can see all of the four wheeling trails that people have carved in their exploring and the Colorado river snaking it's way South towards Lake Powell. The area that has been carved out is many miles wide and runs as far as you can see both to the left and to the right. The beauty of the rugged country and the infinite variety of rock formations are part of a very desolate area and yet it is not without its unique charm and appeal. We also drove up a very beautiful but rather small canyon to a place called Newspaper rock where numerous ancient dwellers left the pictures of their lives and travels as they came through the area. It is the largest single collection of pictographs and etchings that I have ever seen. By this time it was starting to get dark and so we headed back to the motel.
As we were sitting in our room and the sun was going down, Brenda looked out our window and there was a very beautful view of the Monticello temple behind us. As we sat admiring the view a small herd of deer crossed through the plowed field as they traversed from one patch of trees to another. It was fun to watch them and they added even more appeal to the picture we saw. Another great day just traveling on the way home and catching some never before seen sights. The people come and go but the sights in this area change very little from generation to generation. Of course adventures like this are always better when you have someone to share them with. I definitely have one of the best traveling companions that I could ask for. She is always upbeat, pleasant to be around and ready for the next opportunity to hit the road and take in more sights.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Living one of my dreams-the latest adventure
It is a good thing that most people are more reliable about writing in their blogs on a regular basis than I am. I seem to have trouble finding time to sit down and put the thoughts to paper as regularly as I should. My last entry was the start of our vacation this month and so I will try to follow up and outline the good times we enjoyed.
The scenery from the train was beautiful and the experience was all that I had hoped it would be. The chilly morning was a bit of a drawback since it made operating the camera with numb fingers a bit of a problem. It is a spectacular stretch of countryside that is still pretty much the same as it was when the train first started making the journey. Since we were entitled to all the hot drinks that we wanted, I decided to make the trek forward to the concessions car. Now that was a real journey in and of itself. As the train is lurching down the tracks I was lurching through the cars and hoping that I didn't wind up in some lady's lap. It was even more exciting on the way back when I had two full mugs of hot chocolate to balance as I bounced from side to side and made my way back to the seat. In all we drank about 6 cups of the delicious brew but by the end of the trip we had gotten our fill of hot chocolate. It took us about 2 1/2 hours to get to Silverton, which is just a very small town nestled in a mountain valley. It probably only survives in large part due to the tourist traffic from the train. Once there we wandered around for a few minutes until we found a restaurant that was set up in an old Bordello and went in for a warm meal and to thaw out our hands. I found a plug on the wall where I could charge my camera battery and so we sat down to order. I had chicken fried steak which was good and brenda had some hot soup. Then I had to have a piece of their fresh baked fruit pie for dessert.
After shopping for a while it was time to climb back aboard the train for the ride home. By this time the clouds had settled in around the mountains and there was a light mist falling. At times it looked as if the clouds were lifting and the storm would clear up and so I chose to take the optimistic point of view that it would only get better. But unfortunately as we climbed the mountain on the train, it only settled in more until we had a pretty steady downpour around us. With the train moving some of the rain blew in the open sides of the car and so after a while we found it neccessary to get out the blanket and cover up to shield us from the rain. It was a bit harder to try and get good pictures but I continued to try and wound up with better results than I thought that I might have. The ride home seemed a little longer because of the weather but it certainly gave us an idea of what early travelers might have felt as they journeyed on the train. When you get to the top of the climb the view is pretty dramatic since you are looking out the train window straight down hundreds of feet to the river below. They literally blasted a ledge on the side of the mountain for the train to sit on and you have rock wall on one side and a deep chasm on the other. That part of the ride alone made the trip in the bad weather all worth while.
When we arrived back at the station it was still raining a little as we walked back over to the truck. By this time Brenda had about had all the fun she could take and so wanted to head back to the Motel and bundle up in a nice warm room. We stopped by Wendy's on the way home for some supper and called it a day. We both agreed that we had a good time on the train but would like to come back again on a better day and perhaps bring some family to enjoy the excursion with. Since we were going to be heading for Mesa Verde in the morning and needed to be there to catch an 8:30 tour bus, we needed to get up early and drive about 1 1/2 hours to get there. We decided to retire early and hope that the weather tomorrow would improve.
We woke up early and headed for Cortez, Colorado, the nearest town to Mesa Verde. As the sun began to come up it was still pretty cloudy although they hadn't really settled in. By the time we actually arrived at the gate to the park it had turned into fog and as we started the climb up the mountain the fog made the drive a little more exciting. We managed to find the lodge where we were to board the tour bus and after a pit stop we climbed aboard. As we settled in and introduced ourselves we found that there was a couple from Australia aboard and then we met the couple sitting next to us. They were from Oregon and as we talked we found out that they knew exactly where Layton was since they had a son living in South Ogden. He was a teacher at Weber State and as luck would have it Brenda knew the son and had interacted with him at the testing center. The tour turned out to be a good idea since it exposed us to most of the aspects of the park and provided us with a good deal of info that we would not have known otherwise.
The first stop was at one of the ancient pit houses that archeaologists had uncovered and preserved for posterity. It appeared that the inhabitants of the park lived there in the period from 900 to 1200 BC. As the tour proceeded they pointed out numerous instances of the dwellings built into the cliffs around the area. Most of the view points required a little walking to access and I was apprehensive about my ability to do the hiking but as the day continued my confidence increased and I found that the hardest part of the day was climbing back aboard the bus. As part of our tour they took us to the single largest dwelling which is called the cliff palace. It included an actual hands on tour of the site. The only glitch was that it was built into the side of a cliff and required a climb down the mountainside to get there; once there we needed to climb up the cliff to get back to the bus. They tried hard to discourage those who may not be able to handle the hike. By this time my confidence was high and my desire to actually be there encouraged me to give it a try. The trip down involved a number of rather steep steel stairs that had been built by the park service and some stone steps carved into the mountainside. Then the last distance was covered by a rustic wooden ladder about 12 feet in length. I actually found it easier than I thought it might be to make the trip down since handrails were plentiful.
Once there it was great to be able to view the construction up close. The tour guide indicated that the site had included about 150 rooms and that perhaps 100 inhabitants lived there. Some of the buildings were used for storage and some for ceremonial purposes besides the living quarters there. It is amazing that they have been there for over 1000 years and are still in as good a shape as they are. I am sure the location helped to shield them from the weather but the construction techniques must have been good enough to last. The ranger asked if I thought I could make it up the ladders and told me that he was the last one out and would prefer not to carry me with him. There were a series of three ladders about 10-12 feet in height to get back to the top. I only dwell on the issue because I have been having a little difficulty getting back up to speed after getting both my knees surgically replaced. So I started up the ladders and a young couple were nice enough to hang back in case I needed an extra boost. It was a pull but I managed to make it all the way to the top at my own pace and felt a good sense of accomplishment at being able to make the journey.
I thoroughly enjoyed the morning and even though I had seen most of it before I still wanted to make sure that I didn't miss a thing. The tour ended about noon and we were dropped off at the visitors center and cafeteria. The special of the day was a delicious Navajo Taco including about everything that you could want except that the guacamole was way too runny for my taste. Then to top it off they had delicious brownies and choclate chip cookie bars with lots of nuts. They must have known that I was going to be there. I neglected to mention that by the time we got to the first stop on the tour the fog had lifted and it turned out to be a great day for our activities. The funny part was that while we were sitting in the cafeteria it rained real hard for about 15 minutes and then cleared up again; we were grateful that the weather had been so obliging.
The trip back down the mountain was enjoyable because now we could see the beautiful scenery. On the way back, the road took us to the highest point on the mountain and there was a fire lookout there along we a chance to see into four states from the top. By this time Brenda had gotten in all the walking she wanted but I hiked to the top of the knoll to get a few pictures. While I was standing there a little storm formed in the low clouds that were passing by and I could see the rain falling just off the edge of the hill in front of me. Then in a matter of a few minutes the sun started to come out and a rainbow appeared right there in front of me. It was definitely worth the effort to climb the little hill. Then it was also interesting to see the damage the fires they have had recently caused and the new growth has made a tremendous effort to cover up the remaining burnt stumps.
By the time we arrived in Cortez and the motel Brenda was ready to call it a day and the big lunch had taken care of her for the day. I was feeling a need for something more and so I drove through town and decided on Dairy Queen for some chicken strips and a nice Pepsi freeze. I had a great time and it felt good to have been able to get in a little extra physical exertion for a change. Cortez is a very pretty area and Brenda and I both decided that it would be a nice place to live if we were looking for a change of scenery. Then all the family could come to visit us and we could take them to Mesa Verde and for a ride on the train. It was a vacation that I have wanted to take for a long time and I certainly wasn't disappointed when we finally made it down there. But we still had a couple of days and more adventures to go. Too bad we can't just go on one adventure after another instead of having to show up at work on occassion to generate enough money for financing the trips. Work isn't so bad but it definitely is more demanding than a nice adventure. Stay tuned for our ongoing adventure if I haven't already bored you to tears. I will try to post again sooner this next time.
The scenery from the train was beautiful and the experience was all that I had hoped it would be. The chilly morning was a bit of a drawback since it made operating the camera with numb fingers a bit of a problem. It is a spectacular stretch of countryside that is still pretty much the same as it was when the train first started making the journey. Since we were entitled to all the hot drinks that we wanted, I decided to make the trek forward to the concessions car. Now that was a real journey in and of itself. As the train is lurching down the tracks I was lurching through the cars and hoping that I didn't wind up in some lady's lap. It was even more exciting on the way back when I had two full mugs of hot chocolate to balance as I bounced from side to side and made my way back to the seat. In all we drank about 6 cups of the delicious brew but by the end of the trip we had gotten our fill of hot chocolate. It took us about 2 1/2 hours to get to Silverton, which is just a very small town nestled in a mountain valley. It probably only survives in large part due to the tourist traffic from the train. Once there we wandered around for a few minutes until we found a restaurant that was set up in an old Bordello and went in for a warm meal and to thaw out our hands. I found a plug on the wall where I could charge my camera battery and so we sat down to order. I had chicken fried steak which was good and brenda had some hot soup. Then I had to have a piece of their fresh baked fruit pie for dessert.
After shopping for a while it was time to climb back aboard the train for the ride home. By this time the clouds had settled in around the mountains and there was a light mist falling. At times it looked as if the clouds were lifting and the storm would clear up and so I chose to take the optimistic point of view that it would only get better. But unfortunately as we climbed the mountain on the train, it only settled in more until we had a pretty steady downpour around us. With the train moving some of the rain blew in the open sides of the car and so after a while we found it neccessary to get out the blanket and cover up to shield us from the rain. It was a bit harder to try and get good pictures but I continued to try and wound up with better results than I thought that I might have. The ride home seemed a little longer because of the weather but it certainly gave us an idea of what early travelers might have felt as they journeyed on the train. When you get to the top of the climb the view is pretty dramatic since you are looking out the train window straight down hundreds of feet to the river below. They literally blasted a ledge on the side of the mountain for the train to sit on and you have rock wall on one side and a deep chasm on the other. That part of the ride alone made the trip in the bad weather all worth while.
When we arrived back at the station it was still raining a little as we walked back over to the truck. By this time Brenda had about had all the fun she could take and so wanted to head back to the Motel and bundle up in a nice warm room. We stopped by Wendy's on the way home for some supper and called it a day. We both agreed that we had a good time on the train but would like to come back again on a better day and perhaps bring some family to enjoy the excursion with. Since we were going to be heading for Mesa Verde in the morning and needed to be there to catch an 8:30 tour bus, we needed to get up early and drive about 1 1/2 hours to get there. We decided to retire early and hope that the weather tomorrow would improve.
We woke up early and headed for Cortez, Colorado, the nearest town to Mesa Verde. As the sun began to come up it was still pretty cloudy although they hadn't really settled in. By the time we actually arrived at the gate to the park it had turned into fog and as we started the climb up the mountain the fog made the drive a little more exciting. We managed to find the lodge where we were to board the tour bus and after a pit stop we climbed aboard. As we settled in and introduced ourselves we found that there was a couple from Australia aboard and then we met the couple sitting next to us. They were from Oregon and as we talked we found out that they knew exactly where Layton was since they had a son living in South Ogden. He was a teacher at Weber State and as luck would have it Brenda knew the son and had interacted with him at the testing center. The tour turned out to be a good idea since it exposed us to most of the aspects of the park and provided us with a good deal of info that we would not have known otherwise.
The first stop was at one of the ancient pit houses that archeaologists had uncovered and preserved for posterity. It appeared that the inhabitants of the park lived there in the period from 900 to 1200 BC. As the tour proceeded they pointed out numerous instances of the dwellings built into the cliffs around the area. Most of the view points required a little walking to access and I was apprehensive about my ability to do the hiking but as the day continued my confidence increased and I found that the hardest part of the day was climbing back aboard the bus. As part of our tour they took us to the single largest dwelling which is called the cliff palace. It included an actual hands on tour of the site. The only glitch was that it was built into the side of a cliff and required a climb down the mountainside to get there; once there we needed to climb up the cliff to get back to the bus. They tried hard to discourage those who may not be able to handle the hike. By this time my confidence was high and my desire to actually be there encouraged me to give it a try. The trip down involved a number of rather steep steel stairs that had been built by the park service and some stone steps carved into the mountainside. Then the last distance was covered by a rustic wooden ladder about 12 feet in length. I actually found it easier than I thought it might be to make the trip down since handrails were plentiful.
Once there it was great to be able to view the construction up close. The tour guide indicated that the site had included about 150 rooms and that perhaps 100 inhabitants lived there. Some of the buildings were used for storage and some for ceremonial purposes besides the living quarters there. It is amazing that they have been there for over 1000 years and are still in as good a shape as they are. I am sure the location helped to shield them from the weather but the construction techniques must have been good enough to last. The ranger asked if I thought I could make it up the ladders and told me that he was the last one out and would prefer not to carry me with him. There were a series of three ladders about 10-12 feet in height to get back to the top. I only dwell on the issue because I have been having a little difficulty getting back up to speed after getting both my knees surgically replaced. So I started up the ladders and a young couple were nice enough to hang back in case I needed an extra boost. It was a pull but I managed to make it all the way to the top at my own pace and felt a good sense of accomplishment at being able to make the journey.
I thoroughly enjoyed the morning and even though I had seen most of it before I still wanted to make sure that I didn't miss a thing. The tour ended about noon and we were dropped off at the visitors center and cafeteria. The special of the day was a delicious Navajo Taco including about everything that you could want except that the guacamole was way too runny for my taste. Then to top it off they had delicious brownies and choclate chip cookie bars with lots of nuts. They must have known that I was going to be there. I neglected to mention that by the time we got to the first stop on the tour the fog had lifted and it turned out to be a great day for our activities. The funny part was that while we were sitting in the cafeteria it rained real hard for about 15 minutes and then cleared up again; we were grateful that the weather had been so obliging.
The trip back down the mountain was enjoyable because now we could see the beautiful scenery. On the way back, the road took us to the highest point on the mountain and there was a fire lookout there along we a chance to see into four states from the top. By this time Brenda had gotten in all the walking she wanted but I hiked to the top of the knoll to get a few pictures. While I was standing there a little storm formed in the low clouds that were passing by and I could see the rain falling just off the edge of the hill in front of me. Then in a matter of a few minutes the sun started to come out and a rainbow appeared right there in front of me. It was definitely worth the effort to climb the little hill. Then it was also interesting to see the damage the fires they have had recently caused and the new growth has made a tremendous effort to cover up the remaining burnt stumps.
By the time we arrived in Cortez and the motel Brenda was ready to call it a day and the big lunch had taken care of her for the day. I was feeling a need for something more and so I drove through town and decided on Dairy Queen for some chicken strips and a nice Pepsi freeze. I had a great time and it felt good to have been able to get in a little extra physical exertion for a change. Cortez is a very pretty area and Brenda and I both decided that it would be a nice place to live if we were looking for a change of scenery. Then all the family could come to visit us and we could take them to Mesa Verde and for a ride on the train. It was a vacation that I have wanted to take for a long time and I certainly wasn't disappointed when we finally made it down there. But we still had a couple of days and more adventures to go. Too bad we can't just go on one adventure after another instead of having to show up at work on occassion to generate enough money for financing the trips. Work isn't so bad but it definitely is more demanding than a nice adventure. Stay tuned for our ongoing adventure if I haven't already bored you to tears. I will try to post again sooner this next time.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Full steam ahead- - - - - -
Now that we are on our way back from our most recent great adventure, I suppose that it is time to update my documented thoughts. We decided to take a long weekend before it got too cold and try to see a little more of this beautiful country. Our plan was to head south to Durango Colorado so that we could ride on the old narrow gauge steam railroad that goes from there to Silverton Colorado. We thought that perhaps the leaves would still be in full color which would add to the majestic mountain scenery. I have wanted to go on the train for over 40 years but it took me until now to be able to make it happen. I had been on the highway that connects the two towns but never the train, I had also visited Mesa Verde when our oldest kids were still quite young and wanted to go back ever since. Anything else that we were able to do would just be a bonus.
Unfortunately the weekend we picked decided to bring in a storm that cooled things down quite a bit and even snowed in the higher elevations. We were determined though and headed out on Friday morning. We arrived in Durango about 5:30 that evening just as the passengers were getting off of the train from their return trip. You could ride the train both ways or ride the train one way and the bus the other. We chose to ride the train in both directions to get the maximum benefit. You keep the same seat on both trips but the train turns around in Silverton so that you can see both sides of the scenery by the time you arrive back where you came from. Brenda dropped me off at the station and went around the block while I went in and got our tickets. Then we headed through town to find our motel. It certainly wasn’t the Taj Mahal but it served the purpose and met our needs for two nights. When you reserve online and are dealing with an unknown entity then you have to settle for the luck of the draw. I suppose that is especially the case when you use price of the room as one of your more important criteria.
The desk clerk was helpful and told us that the city trolley line ran right in front of the motel so we could ride it down to the train station and leave our truck parked at the motel. What he forgot to tell us was that on Saturday it didn’t come to our stop until 10:30 in the morning. Not knowing that ahead of time we arose at 5:30 and after getting ready for the day headed out to the bus stop. It was a nice little enclosure with a bench to sit on and so we took up our position and waited for the 7:13 bus to arrive. We watched the street lights go off one by one and saw the clouds turn pink from the rising sun. When 7:15 came and still no bus we decided to check the sign just to make sure our time was right. That was when we discovered our wait was in vain. Since we were supposed to catch the train no later than 7:45 we decided to hurry and head back to the Motel and pick up the truck for the ride down. Arriving there we found that the parking lot charged $7.00 to park and so we got nicked again but at least the truck wasn’t going to be towed. It was pretty crisp, about 45-50 degrees so we walked quickly to the station. When getting dressed that morning we weren’t sure how warm to dress and I settled on a tee shirt with a flannel shirt to help keep the chill off of my arms. Brenda opted to wear a shirt and slacks with a sweatshirt jacket to keep her warm.
We arrived at the station in time and soon found the car that we would be riding on. I had specifically opted for our type of car because it offered what I saw as some definite advantages. The seats were like sitting on a couch or in an overstuffed loveseat and faced the side of the train car so that you had an unobstructed view of the scenery and the ability to easily take pictures with no obstacles in the way. The car had a roof but no windows on the sides which would be great on a warm day but presented a drawback on a day when the temperature was not supposed to get above 47 degrees. It was not the cheapest spot on the train but it was not the most expensive either. Our seats did come with one special perk though, they gave us each an insulated mug which was infinitely refillable at the concession car with your beverage of choice. They offered hot coffee which we don’t drink, hot cider and hot chocolate along with a spiced tea. We opted for the hot chocolate which tasted great but by the time we wanted a change they had run out of hot cider. As we sat waiting for the train to take off, people were snuggling down into their seats. One couple were wrapping up in a burgundy blanket with a Durango / Silverton logo and once she saw that Brenda suggested that perhaps we should invest in one also. Since we still had a few minutes I hopped off the train and found the gift shop where they were selling the blankets. Then Brenda decided that she was going to get a warmer coat in addition to the blanket. She visited the gift shop and came back with a nice warm coat that had a hood on it. I felt confident that as the day progressed it would warm up a little and so I wasn’t too worried about one for me. By this time the train blew it’s whistle and we were finally off on our journey for the day.
In order to hopefully avoid reader fatigue I will continue in future episodes. Hope that all is well with those of you who may choose to read my ramblings and you are all in our thoughts and prayers. Life is good, life is great, so choose the right before it is too late.
Unfortunately the weekend we picked decided to bring in a storm that cooled things down quite a bit and even snowed in the higher elevations. We were determined though and headed out on Friday morning. We arrived in Durango about 5:30 that evening just as the passengers were getting off of the train from their return trip. You could ride the train both ways or ride the train one way and the bus the other. We chose to ride the train in both directions to get the maximum benefit. You keep the same seat on both trips but the train turns around in Silverton so that you can see both sides of the scenery by the time you arrive back where you came from. Brenda dropped me off at the station and went around the block while I went in and got our tickets. Then we headed through town to find our motel. It certainly wasn’t the Taj Mahal but it served the purpose and met our needs for two nights. When you reserve online and are dealing with an unknown entity then you have to settle for the luck of the draw. I suppose that is especially the case when you use price of the room as one of your more important criteria.
The desk clerk was helpful and told us that the city trolley line ran right in front of the motel so we could ride it down to the train station and leave our truck parked at the motel. What he forgot to tell us was that on Saturday it didn’t come to our stop until 10:30 in the morning. Not knowing that ahead of time we arose at 5:30 and after getting ready for the day headed out to the bus stop. It was a nice little enclosure with a bench to sit on and so we took up our position and waited for the 7:13 bus to arrive. We watched the street lights go off one by one and saw the clouds turn pink from the rising sun. When 7:15 came and still no bus we decided to check the sign just to make sure our time was right. That was when we discovered our wait was in vain. Since we were supposed to catch the train no later than 7:45 we decided to hurry and head back to the Motel and pick up the truck for the ride down. Arriving there we found that the parking lot charged $7.00 to park and so we got nicked again but at least the truck wasn’t going to be towed. It was pretty crisp, about 45-50 degrees so we walked quickly to the station. When getting dressed that morning we weren’t sure how warm to dress and I settled on a tee shirt with a flannel shirt to help keep the chill off of my arms. Brenda opted to wear a shirt and slacks with a sweatshirt jacket to keep her warm.
We arrived at the station in time and soon found the car that we would be riding on. I had specifically opted for our type of car because it offered what I saw as some definite advantages. The seats were like sitting on a couch or in an overstuffed loveseat and faced the side of the train car so that you had an unobstructed view of the scenery and the ability to easily take pictures with no obstacles in the way. The car had a roof but no windows on the sides which would be great on a warm day but presented a drawback on a day when the temperature was not supposed to get above 47 degrees. It was not the cheapest spot on the train but it was not the most expensive either. Our seats did come with one special perk though, they gave us each an insulated mug which was infinitely refillable at the concession car with your beverage of choice. They offered hot coffee which we don’t drink, hot cider and hot chocolate along with a spiced tea. We opted for the hot chocolate which tasted great but by the time we wanted a change they had run out of hot cider. As we sat waiting for the train to take off, people were snuggling down into their seats. One couple were wrapping up in a burgundy blanket with a Durango / Silverton logo and once she saw that Brenda suggested that perhaps we should invest in one also. Since we still had a few minutes I hopped off the train and found the gift shop where they were selling the blankets. Then Brenda decided that she was going to get a warmer coat in addition to the blanket. She visited the gift shop and came back with a nice warm coat that had a hood on it. I felt confident that as the day progressed it would warm up a little and so I wasn’t too worried about one for me. By this time the train blew it’s whistle and we were finally off on our journey for the day.
In order to hopefully avoid reader fatigue I will continue in future episodes. Hope that all is well with those of you who may choose to read my ramblings and you are all in our thoughts and prayers. Life is good, life is great, so choose the right before it is too late.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Life in a picture
Why did I pick the picture I have to lead off my blog instead of a cute one like most other people. I like it because of what it tells me about life. It is very all inclusive and helps me to stay focused on what the truly important things are and how to make them a part of my life.
- First of all if you want something worthwhile to happen you need to get your hands dirty. The flowers wouldn't be flowers if they didn't have soil to support them.
- The truly worthwhile things in life are surrounded by thorns. Some of the prettiest flowers I have seen, bloom from the inhospitable cactus.
- Likewise some of the most worthwhile things are in the least likely of places. Who would have thought it could happen when you look at the cactus before it blooms?
- We all rely on everything and everyone around us for our success. Without the roots, the soil, the water and the sunshine we would never have the flower.
- Success doesn't require the perfect situation. It is more what we make of the things we have than making sure we have the best of everything. Does the soil in this picture look like what you would plant your favorite flower in?
- Life is also full of very hard places and things but we must push our way up around them to succeed. Without the support and the effort we would all be just old dry sticks being propped up for looks.
\ - Like the cactus, if we want to succeed and stand out in life we shouldn't simply follow the crowd but look for the perfect location where we can be the center of attention. Who notices one sunflower above the thousands of others in a field covered with sunflowers? On the other hand these beautiful flowers drew my full attention.
Anyway, you get the idea. I look at the parts of this picture and I am reminded of who I am, where I came from and how I got there. Hopefully we are all successful in the things that count the most and enjoy the best that life has to offer.
-
- First of all if you want something worthwhile to happen you need to get your hands dirty. The flowers wouldn't be flowers if they didn't have soil to support them.
- The truly worthwhile things in life are surrounded by thorns. Some of the prettiest flowers I have seen, bloom from the inhospitable cactus.
- Likewise some of the most worthwhile things are in the least likely of places. Who would have thought it could happen when you look at the cactus before it blooms?
- We all rely on everything and everyone around us for our success. Without the roots, the soil, the water and the sunshine we would never have the flower.
- Success doesn't require the perfect situation. It is more what we make of the things we have than making sure we have the best of everything. Does the soil in this picture look like what you would plant your favorite flower in?
- Life is also full of very hard places and things but we must push our way up around them to succeed. Without the support and the effort we would all be just old dry sticks being propped up for looks.
\ - Like the cactus, if we want to succeed and stand out in life we shouldn't simply follow the crowd but look for the perfect location where we can be the center of attention. Who notices one sunflower above the thousands of others in a field covered with sunflowers? On the other hand these beautiful flowers drew my full attention.
Anyway, you get the idea. I look at the parts of this picture and I am reminded of who I am, where I came from and how I got there. Hopefully we are all successful in the things that count the most and enjoy the best that life has to offer.
-
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Examples--The excuse or reason for our behavior?
Lately I have really been struck by the effect that examples have on us in our lives. As I have thought about this, it has become more clear to me that they play a major role in the course that our life will take. They are not the end all and of course with free agency we can always choose to follow a course of our own. Yet if we are honest with ourselves it quickly becomes apparent that most of our actions are the result of things we have seen or heard of others doing. What sort of examples have you had in your life? Do we often find ourselves influenced in what we do by examples we are exposed to but don't necessarily intend to follow? How important is it to be aware of the reasons for our own actions? These are some of the questions that I have given thought to and I suppose that you have done the same. Here are some examples that will most likely have an impact on us if we are exposed to them often enough.
- Television advertising, after all the purpose of advertising is to influence our decision making.
- Friends behavior, especially if we admire this friend and want to be accepted by them.
- Family behavior, the purpose of family is to provide a learning environment as we mature.
- Books and articles we read, our behavior is inititated by the thoughts we allow our mind to focus on.
- Our co-workers and the world around us, this can be both a deterrent as well as a reason for our behavior.
- Our attendance at church, are our actions a result of a desire to fit in and to be appreciated by those we have a positive opinion of ?
- The movies and TV shows we watch, how much of this type of entertainment is uplifting and presents us with positive values?
All of these and perhaps many more things will have a lasting influence on us. Unfortunately, I have all too often witnessed the effect of a bad example on some of my sons as well as many others I have known. I am sure that we can all think of things we have done which can be tied directly to a bad example. But rather than dwell on the bad I would like to highlight some of the good examples I have been the beneficiary of.
After 30 years of marriage to a person that I had planned to share the eternities with; it all came crashing down around me. As a result, I seriously questioned the value of putting so much effort into reaching my eternal goals when the actions of others could wipe it all out overnight. I was faced with a crisis that I was not sure I could survive by myself. In time of need I turned to our Heavenly Father for help and guidance but, for whatever the reason, I was unable to find the answers I was looking for. The help that I needed to keep me moving forward came when I approached my parents about the possibility of living in their basement until I could get back on my feet. Although my father was severely limited in his ability to communicate; my mother was willing to welcome me with open arms. She didn't lecture me or express negative feelings about my predicament. She did all that she could to make me feel at home and to help me maintain some self esteem. She cooked me delicious meals and washed my clothes. She offered helpful advice when asked but never attempted to push me into any particular direction. She provided an essential listening ear without making me feel like she wasn't interested in what I was feeling.
She was the kind of positive example that we hear about in studying the scriptures. Despite difficulties in her marriage and the consuming responsibility of trying to care for her own mother in a time of need; she never chose the easy way out.
Unfortunately my second attempt at reaching my eternal goal was cut short when my second marriage fell apart after less than five years. Perhaps sometimes it is better to realize that the situation is only getting worse and that repeated attempts to correct the problems have only resulted in making things worse. After having tried as hard as I thought that I possibly could to bring about improvement, the only answer seemed to be a divorce. If either or both of us were to be happy then going our separate ways seemed to be the only agreeable solution. Again, did my mother take this opportunity to criticize or blame me for what had happened. She had done all in her power to make my new wife feel welcome in the family. She had shown only love and genuine concern for our extended families. I am sure that she was disappointed but she never let me feel like she thought less of me because of the things that had occurred in my life.
Now I find myself in a loving relationship with my wife Brenda. My mother has again always been there to welcome her and her family. She is always happy to see us and trys to include us in all the family activities. Fellow members of the church which I have had the opportunity to associate with have been a major influence in my life. My mother though has stood out as the single best influence I have had the privilege of knowing. Brenda has helped me to realize how a daily smile and a positive attitude can brighten our lives. She helps me to reconsider when it appears that I am about to head in the wrong direction. The unreserved love and devotion that she has for her kids has taught me to look closely at how I manage my relationships. It is hard to imagine what my life might be like at this point if I hadn't had the privilege of meeting her. She has truly been a friend, a lover, a confidant and an anchor for me to hang on to.
When it comes to examples though, my mother stands out as being head and shoulders among the rest. From the earliest times that I can remember she has been a ray of sunshine in my life. When I was down and needed a lift up, she was there with a kind word or a positive suggestion. When I experienced success, she was there to hear what I had to say and to make me feel like she appreciated my accomplishments. When I needed correction she was never harsh or demeaning in the way that she pointed out to me the mistake I had made. When I expressed a desire to accomplish something she was there to offer assistance. In my teenage years particularly I didn't manage to have a good relationship with my father. But my mother served as the perfect intermediary to help me work out the problems and move forward in my progress. She spent time making shirts and vests for me that I thought were better than any money could buy. When I was on my mission, it was her that faithfully wrote to me without fail.
And throughout my life she has gone out of her way to do everything possible to ensure my success.
It isn't just me that she has shown this love and concern for. I can remember her doing kind things and participating in projects to help others throughout her life. As I said earlier, when her mother suffered a stroke, she spent precious hours looking after her needs. It wasn't easy for her to manage such a full schedule but she continued forward in a kind and loving way When her husband suffered the debilitating effects of Alzheimers disease she continued to love and care for him despite the often rude and inconsiderate way he came to treat her. For as long as she was able, she kept him home and went out of her way to make him feel loved and appreciated. She did all that she could to consider his wishes and allow him to feel good about himself. When she could no longer do that and it became necessary to find professional care, she looked for a place where he would be well treated. She took time nearly every day to visit him, see that he was fed and attempt to provide love and comfort. Now that he has passed away she continues to be of service to all around her. Despite the effect of arthritis and the ailments of old age she continues to quilt for her family and for others. She served as the compassionate service leader in her ward despite being one of the older members. She drives the other elderly ladies around town and to church. She is one of the best examples of service that I hope to know. I can only try to follow in her example and experience for myself the satisfaction that comes from such service. Now she finds herself faced with perhaps one of her toughest challenges. I want her to know that her example has not gone unnoticed and that she has had a positive effect on everyone she has come in contact with. We only hope and pray that she has many good years left in which to continue spreading her own brand of sunshine. I didn't want to miss out on an opportunity to document and share the admiration that I have for her and the love that I have for someone who has influenced my life in so many positive ways. I hope that anyone who might happen to read this blog will join with me in offering prayers of support for her in this time of need. She deserves the best we have to offer.
- Television advertising, after all the purpose of advertising is to influence our decision making.
- Friends behavior, especially if we admire this friend and want to be accepted by them.
- Family behavior, the purpose of family is to provide a learning environment as we mature.
- Books and articles we read, our behavior is inititated by the thoughts we allow our mind to focus on.
- Our co-workers and the world around us, this can be both a deterrent as well as a reason for our behavior.
- Our attendance at church, are our actions a result of a desire to fit in and to be appreciated by those we have a positive opinion of ?
- The movies and TV shows we watch, how much of this type of entertainment is uplifting and presents us with positive values?
All of these and perhaps many more things will have a lasting influence on us. Unfortunately, I have all too often witnessed the effect of a bad example on some of my sons as well as many others I have known. I am sure that we can all think of things we have done which can be tied directly to a bad example. But rather than dwell on the bad I would like to highlight some of the good examples I have been the beneficiary of.
After 30 years of marriage to a person that I had planned to share the eternities with; it all came crashing down around me. As a result, I seriously questioned the value of putting so much effort into reaching my eternal goals when the actions of others could wipe it all out overnight. I was faced with a crisis that I was not sure I could survive by myself. In time of need I turned to our Heavenly Father for help and guidance but, for whatever the reason, I was unable to find the answers I was looking for. The help that I needed to keep me moving forward came when I approached my parents about the possibility of living in their basement until I could get back on my feet. Although my father was severely limited in his ability to communicate; my mother was willing to welcome me with open arms. She didn't lecture me or express negative feelings about my predicament. She did all that she could to make me feel at home and to help me maintain some self esteem. She cooked me delicious meals and washed my clothes. She offered helpful advice when asked but never attempted to push me into any particular direction. She provided an essential listening ear without making me feel like she wasn't interested in what I was feeling.
She was the kind of positive example that we hear about in studying the scriptures. Despite difficulties in her marriage and the consuming responsibility of trying to care for her own mother in a time of need; she never chose the easy way out.
Unfortunately my second attempt at reaching my eternal goal was cut short when my second marriage fell apart after less than five years. Perhaps sometimes it is better to realize that the situation is only getting worse and that repeated attempts to correct the problems have only resulted in making things worse. After having tried as hard as I thought that I possibly could to bring about improvement, the only answer seemed to be a divorce. If either or both of us were to be happy then going our separate ways seemed to be the only agreeable solution. Again, did my mother take this opportunity to criticize or blame me for what had happened. She had done all in her power to make my new wife feel welcome in the family. She had shown only love and genuine concern for our extended families. I am sure that she was disappointed but she never let me feel like she thought less of me because of the things that had occurred in my life.
Now I find myself in a loving relationship with my wife Brenda. My mother has again always been there to welcome her and her family. She is always happy to see us and trys to include us in all the family activities. Fellow members of the church which I have had the opportunity to associate with have been a major influence in my life. My mother though has stood out as the single best influence I have had the privilege of knowing. Brenda has helped me to realize how a daily smile and a positive attitude can brighten our lives. She helps me to reconsider when it appears that I am about to head in the wrong direction. The unreserved love and devotion that she has for her kids has taught me to look closely at how I manage my relationships. It is hard to imagine what my life might be like at this point if I hadn't had the privilege of meeting her. She has truly been a friend, a lover, a confidant and an anchor for me to hang on to.
When it comes to examples though, my mother stands out as being head and shoulders among the rest. From the earliest times that I can remember she has been a ray of sunshine in my life. When I was down and needed a lift up, she was there with a kind word or a positive suggestion. When I experienced success, she was there to hear what I had to say and to make me feel like she appreciated my accomplishments. When I needed correction she was never harsh or demeaning in the way that she pointed out to me the mistake I had made. When I expressed a desire to accomplish something she was there to offer assistance. In my teenage years particularly I didn't manage to have a good relationship with my father. But my mother served as the perfect intermediary to help me work out the problems and move forward in my progress. She spent time making shirts and vests for me that I thought were better than any money could buy. When I was on my mission, it was her that faithfully wrote to me without fail.
And throughout my life she has gone out of her way to do everything possible to ensure my success.
It isn't just me that she has shown this love and concern for. I can remember her doing kind things and participating in projects to help others throughout her life. As I said earlier, when her mother suffered a stroke, she spent precious hours looking after her needs. It wasn't easy for her to manage such a full schedule but she continued forward in a kind and loving way When her husband suffered the debilitating effects of Alzheimers disease she continued to love and care for him despite the often rude and inconsiderate way he came to treat her. For as long as she was able, she kept him home and went out of her way to make him feel loved and appreciated. She did all that she could to consider his wishes and allow him to feel good about himself. When she could no longer do that and it became necessary to find professional care, she looked for a place where he would be well treated. She took time nearly every day to visit him, see that he was fed and attempt to provide love and comfort. Now that he has passed away she continues to be of service to all around her. Despite the effect of arthritis and the ailments of old age she continues to quilt for her family and for others. She served as the compassionate service leader in her ward despite being one of the older members. She drives the other elderly ladies around town and to church. She is one of the best examples of service that I hope to know. I can only try to follow in her example and experience for myself the satisfaction that comes from such service. Now she finds herself faced with perhaps one of her toughest challenges. I want her to know that her example has not gone unnoticed and that she has had a positive effect on everyone she has come in contact with. We only hope and pray that she has many good years left in which to continue spreading her own brand of sunshine. I didn't want to miss out on an opportunity to document and share the admiration that I have for her and the love that I have for someone who has influenced my life in so many positive ways. I hope that anyone who might happen to read this blog will join with me in offering prayers of support for her in this time of need. She deserves the best we have to offer.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Unresolved issues and Positive solutions
Now comes the really hard part. How do I recount this period of my life without misrepresenting what took place or glossing over the causes that led up to the eruption. That part will come but for now I think I will start with a series of questions I have never been able to find satisfactory answers for. I would like to think that I could learn from my mistakes, and in many cases I feel that I have been able to. In order to do that though it is important to be able to recognize exactly what the mistakes were and hopefully what caused them. Of course they say that "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus", so why should I ever think that I could understand what goes on in a woman's mind. I thought that I had put a good deal of effort into trying to do just that but I still fall short. Despite the books I have read and the training I have received, I still see things as a man and fall short of being able to truly see the feminine point of view. After thinking about the way I started out with this blog for a few days I have decided that it is time to get on with the effort. I will do my best to not sound overly dramatic or melancoly but after all I am still me.
- How do you live and share lifes experiences with someone for 30 years and still not recognize how they really feel about things?
- Am I the only one who truly remembers the good times that occurred over those 30 years?
- How do children who were taught not to drink and smoke all the time they were growing up wind up ruining their lives by adopting those very bad habits?
- Why do some people find it necessary to focus only on negative feelings and experiences?
- How do you determine the difference between abuse and an honest effort redirect a child's behavior?
- Is it possible to be deeply in love with someone for over half of your life and all of a sudden turn that off?
- Was I kidding myself to believe that I had a greater influence on my spouse than my children did?
- When is it alright to abandon eternal covenants and to replace them with resentment and hate?
- Why is it so hard to help others recognize how you really feel about things?
- Why are the most essential answers to our prayers the hardest to receive or recognize?
- How do you help someone who keeps asking for help but refuses to listen to the solutions you offer?
- Why do therapists think that listing everything you feel like you have lost will help you to get over it when it only makes the hurt more apparent and recognizable?
- Why is it that church leaders are so willing to support a sealing cancellation without a better attempt to understand the entire situation?
- Is it wrong for church leaders to just come and say that divorce is wrong and the parties involved need to find a way to resolve their differences?
- Why is so little thought given to the effect that divorce will have on the children involved ?
- Is there a better solution than divorce?
- When the church places so much emphasis on marriage and family how do you keep problems with one from affecting the other?
- Do we expect more from Heavenly Father for our efforts to do the right thing than is reasonable to expect?
- Why do blood relationships seem to be more important to some than eternal commitments?
- How do you recognize the difference between a situation where divorce is the only solution and one where more understanding and effort could resolve the problems?
- Why is it so hard to put it all behind and just chalk it up to experience?
- Does the passage of time help to resolve the issues or just cause them to dim in our memory?
- Is it important to continue working on resolving differences as part of the repentance process?
- What do I need to do differently to avoid finding myself in a similar situation in the future?
- How do I come to grips with what the real problems were and avoid being misled by false accusations or unwillingness to accept responsibility?
We moved into our second house in Spanish Fork in the spring of 1994. In the fourteen years since I have experienced some of the greatest highs of my life as well as the very worst low points. I suppose in the end they balance one another out but the extremes have taken their toll. Lake Powell has always been one of my most favorite places on earth and I have shared it will a number of different people during that period. The weeks spent their were perhaps the most enjoyable I have ever had. I never grow tired of the beauty and solitude that it offers as well as the opportunity for good wholesome fun. Perhaps the longest day of my life was spent driving back from Denver with my wife at the time and three of my grandkids. An innocent disagreement as we left Denver turned into an endless tirade of belittleing comments and derision from my wife for the whole trip. How does a person tell you one day that they love you and then the next day insist that you are nothing but a worthless human being? I finally can say that I know what a shrew is?
After fighting for over four years to allow Nathan some choice in where he would live and what he would do in life I was exhauseted. When I finally won and he came to live with me, the situation at home deteriated. He had given up hope of being given a say in his life. When he finally got a little freedom, he used it to make poor choices. I was at an extremely low point in life. I wasn't sure that I could take much more. Then, after coming to the conclusion that divorce was indeed the only solution to the stituation I was faced with I found myself being the one who was pushing the issue. When the divorce was final, I only felt relief at not having to face the daily verbal assault. Despite the two attempts I had made at marriage which resulted in similar ends I couldn't help but feel like I would be better off being married. Then I had the good fortune of meeting Brenda.
She has helped to restore my faith in marriage and in having a close relationship with someone that you truly care about. Her calm, even tempered disposition is like ointment to old wounds. I look forward to coming home and spending time with her. We have been able to share some truly wonderful experiences during the past four years. Our cruise to Alaska, the trips to Lake Powell with friends and the trip we made with her kids and their spouses. The trip to Yellowstone and back East to spend time with Matt and his Family. Exploring Washington DC and taking her to Michigan to see past friends and places. I feel truly blessed to be able to wake up in the morning and know that each day holds a new adventure with someone that I care deeply about. Her family has been accepting of me and she has had the opportunity to spend time with each of my sons and get to know them better. She sets a good example and provides needed counsel and support. Despite all of the nagging doubts and unresolved feelings of others which I seem unable to resolve; life moves on in a positive and productive way. I look forward to longtime relationships with those who choose to have one with me and to those who don't I am sorry for that and if it is my fault I sincerely apologize.
- How do you live and share lifes experiences with someone for 30 years and still not recognize how they really feel about things?
- Am I the only one who truly remembers the good times that occurred over those 30 years?
- How do children who were taught not to drink and smoke all the time they were growing up wind up ruining their lives by adopting those very bad habits?
- Why do some people find it necessary to focus only on negative feelings and experiences?
- How do you determine the difference between abuse and an honest effort redirect a child's behavior?
- Is it possible to be deeply in love with someone for over half of your life and all of a sudden turn that off?
- Was I kidding myself to believe that I had a greater influence on my spouse than my children did?
- When is it alright to abandon eternal covenants and to replace them with resentment and hate?
- Why is it so hard to help others recognize how you really feel about things?
- Why are the most essential answers to our prayers the hardest to receive or recognize?
- How do you help someone who keeps asking for help but refuses to listen to the solutions you offer?
- Why do therapists think that listing everything you feel like you have lost will help you to get over it when it only makes the hurt more apparent and recognizable?
- Why is it that church leaders are so willing to support a sealing cancellation without a better attempt to understand the entire situation?
- Is it wrong for church leaders to just come and say that divorce is wrong and the parties involved need to find a way to resolve their differences?
- Why is so little thought given to the effect that divorce will have on the children involved ?
- Is there a better solution than divorce?
- When the church places so much emphasis on marriage and family how do you keep problems with one from affecting the other?
- Do we expect more from Heavenly Father for our efforts to do the right thing than is reasonable to expect?
- Why do blood relationships seem to be more important to some than eternal commitments?
- How do you recognize the difference between a situation where divorce is the only solution and one where more understanding and effort could resolve the problems?
- Why is it so hard to put it all behind and just chalk it up to experience?
- Does the passage of time help to resolve the issues or just cause them to dim in our memory?
- Is it important to continue working on resolving differences as part of the repentance process?
- What do I need to do differently to avoid finding myself in a similar situation in the future?
- How do I come to grips with what the real problems were and avoid being misled by false accusations or unwillingness to accept responsibility?
We moved into our second house in Spanish Fork in the spring of 1994. In the fourteen years since I have experienced some of the greatest highs of my life as well as the very worst low points. I suppose in the end they balance one another out but the extremes have taken their toll. Lake Powell has always been one of my most favorite places on earth and I have shared it will a number of different people during that period. The weeks spent their were perhaps the most enjoyable I have ever had. I never grow tired of the beauty and solitude that it offers as well as the opportunity for good wholesome fun. Perhaps the longest day of my life was spent driving back from Denver with my wife at the time and three of my grandkids. An innocent disagreement as we left Denver turned into an endless tirade of belittleing comments and derision from my wife for the whole trip. How does a person tell you one day that they love you and then the next day insist that you are nothing but a worthless human being? I finally can say that I know what a shrew is?
After fighting for over four years to allow Nathan some choice in where he would live and what he would do in life I was exhauseted. When I finally won and he came to live with me, the situation at home deteriated. He had given up hope of being given a say in his life. When he finally got a little freedom, he used it to make poor choices. I was at an extremely low point in life. I wasn't sure that I could take much more. Then, after coming to the conclusion that divorce was indeed the only solution to the stituation I was faced with I found myself being the one who was pushing the issue. When the divorce was final, I only felt relief at not having to face the daily verbal assault. Despite the two attempts I had made at marriage which resulted in similar ends I couldn't help but feel like I would be better off being married. Then I had the good fortune of meeting Brenda.
She has helped to restore my faith in marriage and in having a close relationship with someone that you truly care about. Her calm, even tempered disposition is like ointment to old wounds. I look forward to coming home and spending time with her. We have been able to share some truly wonderful experiences during the past four years. Our cruise to Alaska, the trips to Lake Powell with friends and the trip we made with her kids and their spouses. The trip to Yellowstone and back East to spend time with Matt and his Family. Exploring Washington DC and taking her to Michigan to see past friends and places. I feel truly blessed to be able to wake up in the morning and know that each day holds a new adventure with someone that I care deeply about. Her family has been accepting of me and she has had the opportunity to spend time with each of my sons and get to know them better. She sets a good example and provides needed counsel and support. Despite all of the nagging doubts and unresolved feelings of others which I seem unable to resolve; life moves on in a positive and productive way. I look forward to longtime relationships with those who choose to have one with me and to those who don't I am sorry for that and if it is my fault I sincerely apologize.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Who has time to blog when you have to work for a living?
It was fun to blog on a regular basis while I was off from work recovering from my knee surgery but I find it very difficult to find time to get it done now. The fact that they called me to be the Executive Secretary in the Ward doesn't help with that either. Since I have every other Friday off and Brenda went camping with her kids, I figured I better take advantage of the opportunity to post again. When we last met our family was on the way to Utah and the new adventures that awaited us there. In retrospect it turned out to be both a good move and a questionable one as well. I love Utah but having grown up here I suppose that I am somewhat prejudiced. Most of my sons however don't seem to have benefitted from the move. Their activity in and attitude about the Church has taken a real hit. The move may not be at fault but it is very easy to find and identify with church members who have lost their testimony here where it was hard to find them in Michigan since they blended into the general population. Of course an unwarranted divorce didn't help much either. That one monumental act has certainly taken it's toll. That having been said I would like to try and focus on the good times that have occurred since that move in Oct of 1988.
-moving into a beautiful home in Spanish Fork that my parents had built as they prepared to go on a mission.
-learning how to build valves as I worked for Valtek for four years
-the chance to ride my bike to work instead of commuting for 45 minutes each way
-being called to serve as the financial clerk in the Spanish Fork 2nd Ward
-living closer to my family which allowed us to get together more often
-again being able to look up and see the mountains which I missed so much in Michigan
-sending our son Matt on a mission to England -little did I realize at the time that a future son-in-law would be the product of those missionaries in England or that another son-in-law also served his mission there
- after completing his mission in California we added a daughter to our family when Tony found a terrific young lady and got married in the Manti Temple
-the arrival of our first granddaughter, a beautiful girl with dark hair and eyes named Chelsea
-having the opportunity to train for and receive my Utah Realtor's license
-building my real estate business to a point where I could hope to rely on that as an occupation when it appeared that I might be laid off from Valtek
-the opportunity to work with my wife in earning a living for the family
-adding a second daughter to our family when Matt found a first class young lady from the Denver area to marry in the Denver temple
-another granddaughter and our first grandson when Tony had his second daughter(Rachael) and Matt had a little boy (Madsen)
-entering into an agreement with Susan's sisters family to jointly buy a share in a houseboat at Lake Powell which allowed us to spend many wonderful weeks enjoying the unique beauty and fun that occurred there
-again having a pool in the backyard that enhanced our families love for the water and allowed us many relaxing hours there
-discovering a house for sale that sat on an acre of ground in the middle of a subdivision. It was as close as we could come to our situation in Michgan. But this time it was right there within walking distance of shopping, church and other activities.
-in 1994 working out a deal with the owners to purchase this little island of privacy and again it was time to move
Our family can't be accused of living in any one place for too long although we did spend almost ten years on our acreage in Michigan. By this time I should have been proficient at moving but getting the food storage up out of the basement was almost more than I could handle. The move was only less than a mile but it took us at least two weeks to complete. We were lucky that the mortician who lived a few doors down was looking for a new home and decided to buy ours. He was also more flexible than usual about the time frame for him to move in. It was a little older than the home we left but had more room and we loved the fruit trees and the privacy it provided. But alas, as is the case in life the good times don't seem to go on forever.
-moving into a beautiful home in Spanish Fork that my parents had built as they prepared to go on a mission.
-learning how to build valves as I worked for Valtek for four years
-the chance to ride my bike to work instead of commuting for 45 minutes each way
-being called to serve as the financial clerk in the Spanish Fork 2nd Ward
-living closer to my family which allowed us to get together more often
-again being able to look up and see the mountains which I missed so much in Michigan
-sending our son Matt on a mission to England -little did I realize at the time that a future son-in-law would be the product of those missionaries in England or that another son-in-law also served his mission there
- after completing his mission in California we added a daughter to our family when Tony found a terrific young lady and got married in the Manti Temple
-the arrival of our first granddaughter, a beautiful girl with dark hair and eyes named Chelsea
-having the opportunity to train for and receive my Utah Realtor's license
-building my real estate business to a point where I could hope to rely on that as an occupation when it appeared that I might be laid off from Valtek
-the opportunity to work with my wife in earning a living for the family
-adding a second daughter to our family when Matt found a first class young lady from the Denver area to marry in the Denver temple
-another granddaughter and our first grandson when Tony had his second daughter(Rachael) and Matt had a little boy (Madsen)
-entering into an agreement with Susan's sisters family to jointly buy a share in a houseboat at Lake Powell which allowed us to spend many wonderful weeks enjoying the unique beauty and fun that occurred there
-again having a pool in the backyard that enhanced our families love for the water and allowed us many relaxing hours there
-discovering a house for sale that sat on an acre of ground in the middle of a subdivision. It was as close as we could come to our situation in Michgan. But this time it was right there within walking distance of shopping, church and other activities.
-in 1994 working out a deal with the owners to purchase this little island of privacy and again it was time to move
Our family can't be accused of living in any one place for too long although we did spend almost ten years on our acreage in Michigan. By this time I should have been proficient at moving but getting the food storage up out of the basement was almost more than I could handle. The move was only less than a mile but it took us at least two weeks to complete. We were lucky that the mortician who lived a few doors down was looking for a new home and decided to buy ours. He was also more flexible than usual about the time frame for him to move in. It was a little older than the home we left but had more room and we loved the fruit trees and the privacy it provided. But alas, as is the case in life the good times don't seem to go on forever.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
So much for Philosophic thoughts, now back to the "good times"
Picking up where I previously left off, we finallymoved into our new home on the hill in the spring of 1979. I apologize for having put 1989 in my previous blog. Moving into a new home can be an exciting adventure but it can also bring along with it some new problems. Our biggest problem was the builder because he defaulted on our agreement and left many details undone. Our construction loan was set up to pay him draws upon completion of certain portions of the home. He got to the point where there was still 10% of the money to receive and decided that he wanted the money up front, before he finished the few things he had left to do. We refused, along with the bank, and so he simply quit working on the house. Most of the things we could do ourselves but the bank wouldn't release the money to us either without the builders approval. So we were stuck in a mess. Finally three lawyers later we got the money released but most of it went to pay the lawyers. We managed to finish the things that needed done over a period of time and luckily didn't have any major problems with the house itself. Was this one of the good times? It certainly was when we finally got it all resolved and could put it behind us to move on. But the really good times were many and provided us with some of our most memorable moments. Following are a few of the highlights of the next 9 years we spent living in our home.
-living out in the woods, where you could see the stars at night and the loudest noises were the birds in the trees.
-coming home from work to our very own camping spot complete with a furnished home to "camp out in"
-having a huge fan in the ceiling that vented the house and kept the hot humid air moving in the summer
-sitting by the fire place on a cold winter night
-chopping and splitting wood with my sons
-eating fresh raspberries out of our own garden, all summer long
-taking a cool dip in the pool out back before going to bed at night or after a long days work
-sitting at the table in the kitchen and watching the deer eat apples out of our trees
-cutting our own christmas tree that was so big we had to stand in the loft to decorate the top half
-welcoming sons number four, five and six ( Chris, Ben & Nathan) into the family and having my mom come to visit for a week so that she could help out with the newborns.
-being asked by the branch president to teach home study seminary
-after countless hours of pruning and spraying, harvesting enough apples to take to the cider mill and wind up with 100 gallons of cider
-riding the tractor around the property and cutting down everything that grew with the bush hog attached to the back.
-having the privilege of serving in the Bishopric for seven years including 4 as the Bishop.
-the temple trips with the Faleschini's, Mourdoks, Skidmore's, Aeschliman's, Murdocks, Raethers, Philburns and many others from the Howell Ward, usually over the Easter and Thanksgiving weekends
-the hours spent in the presence of Bishop Faleschini, Bishop Jones, brother Mourdock and brother Skidmore as we pondered the affairs of the ward and I learned how to be a better Priesthood holder.
- the annual ward parties held at the Raethers where we harvested the fresh corn from the field and ate all we could hold
- the annual parties at the Philburns where we all had great fun in the pond
- the opportunity that I had to go into business with Jim Philburn and to run Tram Tool ( a machine shop in Fenton MI)
- a home teacher who helped me complete a project when I needed help
- working at numerous different shops where I learned new skills and got involved in different aspects of my work such as field service, engineering and drafting
- countless Sunday afternoons spent at Susan's sisters house eating strawberry crepes and visiting with the family
- numerous fast and testimony meetings where I heard some of the best testimonies I have ever heard, many from the new converts to the church
- Having the two oldest sons ( Tony & Matt ) graduate from high school at Pinckney High
- Having Tony go on a mission to Arcadia California and Matt submit his papers to go
- Ordaining Tony, Matt and Brian to the Aaronic Priesthood and Tony to the Melchizedek Priesthood
- Participating in the decisions involving the construction of a brand new chapel for the Howell Ward
- Watching the branch we first belonged to grow into a ward in large part through convert baptisms in the area. People such as Sam Skidmore, Annie Blaine and later her husband, the Parker family, the Wolf family, who became stalwarts in the ward and now there are two wards in the old area.
- Associating with President Laws and General Authorities such as Jacob deJaeger, A. Theodore Tuttle and others in training meetings
-the opportunity to attend an area conference with President Spencer W. Kimball in Crisler Arena on the University of Michigan campus. At the end of the meeting there wasn't a dry eye in the place when we sang "Till we meet again" and "We thank thee O God for a Prophet" It wasn't long after that when he passed away. I still tear up when I am singing the song and think about the occassion.
- hours spent at Lake Chemung involved in boat races and water skiing
- the sense of relief along with a sense of loss that I got when I was released as Bishop
- the unbelievable support we got from friends and members of the ward when at last it was time for us to move on
These are just a few of the highlights of this time in my life. When I think back on it and weigh all of the factors; I think that perhaps this may have been the best 9 years of my life. I accomplished more good, met more friends, had more learning experiences and grew as a person more than at any other time in my life. I have a truly wonderful wife now and I am very happy in my current situation. It is just occurring at a different point in my life and I don't find myself experiencing all of the growth, change and significant events that I did then. In life we learn to deal with the hand that we are dealt and I have been truly blessed to find myself where I am now and married to the lady who is my wife. Without having found her I couldn't be where I am today. So from that perspective, now is indeed one of the better"good times" in my life.
-living out in the woods, where you could see the stars at night and the loudest noises were the birds in the trees.
-coming home from work to our very own camping spot complete with a furnished home to "camp out in"
-having a huge fan in the ceiling that vented the house and kept the hot humid air moving in the summer
-sitting by the fire place on a cold winter night
-chopping and splitting wood with my sons
-eating fresh raspberries out of our own garden, all summer long
-taking a cool dip in the pool out back before going to bed at night or after a long days work
-sitting at the table in the kitchen and watching the deer eat apples out of our trees
-cutting our own christmas tree that was so big we had to stand in the loft to decorate the top half
-welcoming sons number four, five and six ( Chris, Ben & Nathan) into the family and having my mom come to visit for a week so that she could help out with the newborns.
-being asked by the branch president to teach home study seminary
-after countless hours of pruning and spraying, harvesting enough apples to take to the cider mill and wind up with 100 gallons of cider
-riding the tractor around the property and cutting down everything that grew with the bush hog attached to the back.
-having the privilege of serving in the Bishopric for seven years including 4 as the Bishop.
-the temple trips with the Faleschini's, Mourdoks, Skidmore's, Aeschliman's, Murdocks, Raethers, Philburns and many others from the Howell Ward, usually over the Easter and Thanksgiving weekends
-the hours spent in the presence of Bishop Faleschini, Bishop Jones, brother Mourdock and brother Skidmore as we pondered the affairs of the ward and I learned how to be a better Priesthood holder.
- the annual ward parties held at the Raethers where we harvested the fresh corn from the field and ate all we could hold
- the annual parties at the Philburns where we all had great fun in the pond
- the opportunity that I had to go into business with Jim Philburn and to run Tram Tool ( a machine shop in Fenton MI)
- a home teacher who helped me complete a project when I needed help
- working at numerous different shops where I learned new skills and got involved in different aspects of my work such as field service, engineering and drafting
- countless Sunday afternoons spent at Susan's sisters house eating strawberry crepes and visiting with the family
- numerous fast and testimony meetings where I heard some of the best testimonies I have ever heard, many from the new converts to the church
- Having the two oldest sons ( Tony & Matt ) graduate from high school at Pinckney High
- Having Tony go on a mission to Arcadia California and Matt submit his papers to go
- Ordaining Tony, Matt and Brian to the Aaronic Priesthood and Tony to the Melchizedek Priesthood
- Participating in the decisions involving the construction of a brand new chapel for the Howell Ward
- Watching the branch we first belonged to grow into a ward in large part through convert baptisms in the area. People such as Sam Skidmore, Annie Blaine and later her husband, the Parker family, the Wolf family, who became stalwarts in the ward and now there are two wards in the old area.
- Associating with President Laws and General Authorities such as Jacob deJaeger, A. Theodore Tuttle and others in training meetings
-the opportunity to attend an area conference with President Spencer W. Kimball in Crisler Arena on the University of Michigan campus. At the end of the meeting there wasn't a dry eye in the place when we sang "Till we meet again" and "We thank thee O God for a Prophet" It wasn't long after that when he passed away. I still tear up when I am singing the song and think about the occassion.
- hours spent at Lake Chemung involved in boat races and water skiing
- the sense of relief along with a sense of loss that I got when I was released as Bishop
- the unbelievable support we got from friends and members of the ward when at last it was time for us to move on
These are just a few of the highlights of this time in my life. When I think back on it and weigh all of the factors; I think that perhaps this may have been the best 9 years of my life. I accomplished more good, met more friends, had more learning experiences and grew as a person more than at any other time in my life. I have a truly wonderful wife now and I am very happy in my current situation. It is just occurring at a different point in my life and I don't find myself experiencing all of the growth, change and significant events that I did then. In life we learn to deal with the hand that we are dealt and I have been truly blessed to find myself where I am now and married to the lady who is my wife. Without having found her I couldn't be where I am today. So from that perspective, now is indeed one of the better"good times" in my life.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
ANSWERS!!!; When, Where and How to get them.
I really wish that I knew. A while back I shared some thoughts about agency and the multi faceted nature of the concept. Today my mind is occupied by the search for answers, not just for me, but for just about anybody. When I was a teenager it seemed that I had all the answers except for the tests I took in school. Now here I am after 63 years of practice still searching for the answers to the tests that life sends my way. Through the years I have figured out thousands of answers. Some of them have been right useful and others just an accumulation of trivial knowledge. But the conversations I have had with some of my sons over the past week leave me with few answers for them that they seem to be able to use. So I would like to list some of the thoughts that I have been having in an attempt to sort our the best answers for me and those I care about.
The still, small voice can certainly provide us with answers; I am sure of this, having experienced the process.
I am also sure that we often fail to get those answers because of ourselves.
We are often in too big of a hurry to patiently wait for the answer.
Answers require of us a sincere desire to willingly accept the message
That huge stumbling block, worthiness, also enters into the picture
That could easily lead me to the conclusion; if I am not worthy to seek heavenly help in finding an answer then I am simply out of luck.
Although there is a grain of truth to that concept, we have been given other resources to help us find the answers.
Life is meant to be a developmental process not just a winner takes all experience.
Above all our Heavenly Father wants us to succeed and has provided us with leaders, teachers, scriptures, family other sources of information.
He has also provided us with minds that are able to understand and sort through the concepts we are exposed to.
Having all of this to help, wouldn't you think that in 63 years I would understand many of the answers that I need? The trouble is, there are also many other factors entering into the equation. Then to only further complicate matters, these factors are constantly changing. My lifetime of experience can help me to answer questions about problems I have already faced but what about new problems or problems of others who are asking for my help. I sometimes wonder how it can get so complicated and seemingly impossible to resolve.
Another aspect is that we usually see the problems in others long before we see the problems in ourselves.
Along with that we almost always seem to have an answer for someone elses problem but struggle with what to do concerning our own problems.
Why is it so much easier to accept answers requiring action on the part of others, than it is to accept answers which require action on our part?
This all leads me to the belief that we must all find our own answers; even though well meaning suggestions by others sometimes head us in the right direction.
Along with agency is accountability and thank goodness I am only personally responsible for my own actions.
If I refuse to accept the answers or simply won't listen to hear them, in the end I am the one who will receive the consequences.
As parents we would like to push our will onto our children when we see them making poor choices. We are well intentioned, wanting them only to enjoy success and happiness, but unable to see the whole picture. It is my responsibility to set a good example and provide encouragement when needed but I can't make the choices for them. No matter how painful it is to watch their struggles, growth is subdued if I step in to avert the consequences. Being a teenager was hard and I longed for the time when I could be the one in charge. Raising kids is not as easy it it sounds and being the one in charge was often times not much fun. Now that the kids are mostly raised I am still faced with how I can best help them in my role as a loving parent. So it is a wonderful thing that there were many "good times" along the way to make it all worthwhile. Would I do it again, you bet. Would I do it differently, I could certainly make improvements. But most of all I would try harder to recognize and enjoy the "good times" to their fullest.
If you stuck with it and made it to this point then you deserve a medal. But hopefully the time you spent reading my ideas will pay off in more and better "good times" for you and your family.
The still, small voice can certainly provide us with answers; I am sure of this, having experienced the process.
I am also sure that we often fail to get those answers because of ourselves.
We are often in too big of a hurry to patiently wait for the answer.
Answers require of us a sincere desire to willingly accept the message
That huge stumbling block, worthiness, also enters into the picture
That could easily lead me to the conclusion; if I am not worthy to seek heavenly help in finding an answer then I am simply out of luck.
Although there is a grain of truth to that concept, we have been given other resources to help us find the answers.
Life is meant to be a developmental process not just a winner takes all experience.
Above all our Heavenly Father wants us to succeed and has provided us with leaders, teachers, scriptures, family other sources of information.
He has also provided us with minds that are able to understand and sort through the concepts we are exposed to.
Having all of this to help, wouldn't you think that in 63 years I would understand many of the answers that I need? The trouble is, there are also many other factors entering into the equation. Then to only further complicate matters, these factors are constantly changing. My lifetime of experience can help me to answer questions about problems I have already faced but what about new problems or problems of others who are asking for my help. I sometimes wonder how it can get so complicated and seemingly impossible to resolve.
Another aspect is that we usually see the problems in others long before we see the problems in ourselves.
Along with that we almost always seem to have an answer for someone elses problem but struggle with what to do concerning our own problems.
Why is it so much easier to accept answers requiring action on the part of others, than it is to accept answers which require action on our part?
This all leads me to the belief that we must all find our own answers; even though well meaning suggestions by others sometimes head us in the right direction.
Along with agency is accountability and thank goodness I am only personally responsible for my own actions.
If I refuse to accept the answers or simply won't listen to hear them, in the end I am the one who will receive the consequences.
As parents we would like to push our will onto our children when we see them making poor choices. We are well intentioned, wanting them only to enjoy success and happiness, but unable to see the whole picture. It is my responsibility to set a good example and provide encouragement when needed but I can't make the choices for them. No matter how painful it is to watch their struggles, growth is subdued if I step in to avert the consequences. Being a teenager was hard and I longed for the time when I could be the one in charge. Raising kids is not as easy it it sounds and being the one in charge was often times not much fun. Now that the kids are mostly raised I am still faced with how I can best help them in my role as a loving parent. So it is a wonderful thing that there were many "good times" along the way to make it all worthwhile. Would I do it again, you bet. Would I do it differently, I could certainly make improvements. But most of all I would try harder to recognize and enjoy the "good times" to their fullest.
If you stuck with it and made it to this point then you deserve a medal. But hopefully the time you spent reading my ideas will pay off in more and better "good times" for you and your family.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Is this really a dream come true?
Now back to hug-e-bears continuing saga. Actually hug-e-bear didn't even exist as such at this point since he wouldn't come to pass for a number of years. During this period I was probably more aptly known as "grumpy bear". During the seventies CB radios were the big thing and of course we had to have one. With the CB comes the need for a "handle" or name to use when communicating. For those of you who were born in a more modern time this was actually a verbal form of text messaging. Since there was no such thing as cell phones people used CB radios to communicate with their friends. That is they communicated when the signal was strong enough to do so and their friends actually had the CB on. If you were very lucky and listened very hard you might even be able to communicate cross country by "skipping your signal off of the clouds". Susan even talked with her Dad in Michigan on a couple of occassions.In any case it was sort of an adaptation of the radios that emergency responders and police used. So of course it was necessary to also utililize the code letters such as 10-4 good buddy and nobody used their real name. I really wanted to be "Teddy Bear" but Red Sovine had done a song about someone who used that handle and so I didn't want to step on anyones toes. While trying to come up with something that would sound good on the radio, the best I could do was Grumpy Bear and so for a number of years that was what I used. I didn't really see myself as grumpy but it was something that I could identify with to a degree.
Enough of the bear talk for now and back to reliving the good times in the late seventies. When I last posted we had given up on the idea of a new home on acreage since the bank wasn't real interested in lending me money on a piece of ground. Now if I owned the ground then they would be more than happy to loan me money to build the house. Susan's brother kept on bugging us though about how nice it was to live in the country and he even offered to let me carpool with him if we moved out there. Perhaps it was really just a plot to find someone he could share the drive with since it was about 45 minutes from work, mostly all on the freeway.
Then to my surprise came the following events.
-My parents came to visit us and to pick up another new car at the Chrysler factory in downtown Detroit
-Leo overheard my Dad talking about some land that he and some business partners had invested in, out in Utah
-So naturally Leo mentioned to my Dad about some land that he ought to invest in there in Michigan.
-Anyone who has ever met Leo knows that his blood is the blood of a natural salesman and next thing you know my Dad is agreeing to go take a look at the land.
- After looking at it and hearing that we had been considering building a house there; he said that he might be interested in making the investment.
When Susan and I first decided to get married and headed up to Heber City to tell my folks it was not what you would call a pleasant conversation. My Dad proceeded to tell me that there was no way I was old enough or smart enough to get married. He also made it very clear that he was not about to finance such an idea. Being a banker by trade he was very much into the risk of a venture and he saw our propositon of marriage as being outside the range of reasonable risk. Since we had very little money at the time, perhaps he was right, but since we loved each other we decided to go ahead with it anyway. Well to end the conversation he again told us that he was against the whole thing and that we should not ever expect to come to him for any financial help.
This had the effect of causing me to be determined to show him that he was wrong. I made up my mind that the last thing I would do is go to him and ask for money. Perhaps that was as rash of me as his statements seemed to be. Since I had little more than pocket money and needed to come up with a ring to make this whole proposal a reality we went to see the Jeweler. He agreed to sell us a ring for very little down and a few dollars a month until it was paid for. His assessment of our situation seemed to be much more upbeat than that of my Dad. We were happy and proceeded to plan for the wedding. The interesting thing about the whole affair came as a surprise after we were married. Shortly after we arrived in Michigan to settle down; an envelope came in the mail and in the envelope was a receipt marked paid in full for the engagement ring and wedding band. Somehow my Dad had found out where we bought the ring and paid the jeweler the balance owed. He indicated that he didn't want us to start out our marriage by being in hock for the ring.
Now after the background story it is time to get back to what was going on at the time.
- My Dad proceeds to buy the property and then agree to quit claim the deed to me so that we could use it as collateral on the home loan. He did this however after explaining to me that even though the deed was in my name, the property was family property and he was simply allowing us to use it to build the house on and hopefully increase the value by doing so.
- I had drawn up a scale plan of the home we envisioned building and a friend suggested an architect he knew who would draw us up some working blueprints to build from for a reasonable fee.
-getting bids from two or three builders to determine what the building costs might be.
- finding a builder who would allow us to do enough sweat equity to make the whole deal work
- With the deed, bids and blueprints in hand, having the bank agree to loan us the money we needed to build the house
-listing the house we were living in for sale and actually finding a reliable buyer this time who would allow us some time before needing to move out
- having Leo and Brenda offer to allow us to move in with them while the house was being built. This allowed us to be close enough to actually do the work we had agreed to do and gave us the extra months that the building process required.
- driving out to the property and seeing that some dirt had actually been moved around and the whole process of building a new house was finally under way.
We had agreed to do the following to keep the costs down:
All of the electrical work from rough wiring to installing the plugs and light fixtures.
All of the supply line plumbing including the sinks and faucets
All of the tile work in the bathrooms and entry foyer
All of the painting, both inside and out including the staining and varnishing of the interior window sills, railings and ceiling in the family room as well as the wallpaper hanging
The rock work up the two story face of the fireplace
Arranging for the purchase and installation of all the carpeting
Purchase and installation of the wood stove furnace in the basement
Any finish work to be done in the basement along with the shelves in the food storage room
So we were very busy from about August 1988 to March 1989 when we finally moved in and still had a few things to finish up even then. After working all day I spent most every spare minute working on the house and it was tiring but there was a very good feeling to be able to look back on having done it. It was indeed one of the good times and created the opportunity for numerous good times to follow. Who needed a trailer when we lived in the woods? It was great to come home from work and feel like you were camping while sleeping in your own bed. When it really snowed during the winter you could honestly say that you had to take the day off because you were snowed in. Most of the time however we kept the road open by using a blade on the back of an old Ford 9N tractor we bought. Even out pushing snow when it was biting cold provided its share of good times. Put on the old snowmobile suit, heavy mittens and hat and head off down the road. Little did we realize in the beginning what changes (mostly positive) lay ahead for us. While there though we met some of the nicest people we have ever met and had some of the best times that life has to offer.
Enough of the bear talk for now and back to reliving the good times in the late seventies. When I last posted we had given up on the idea of a new home on acreage since the bank wasn't real interested in lending me money on a piece of ground. Now if I owned the ground then they would be more than happy to loan me money to build the house. Susan's brother kept on bugging us though about how nice it was to live in the country and he even offered to let me carpool with him if we moved out there. Perhaps it was really just a plot to find someone he could share the drive with since it was about 45 minutes from work, mostly all on the freeway.
Then to my surprise came the following events.
-My parents came to visit us and to pick up another new car at the Chrysler factory in downtown Detroit
-Leo overheard my Dad talking about some land that he and some business partners had invested in, out in Utah
-So naturally Leo mentioned to my Dad about some land that he ought to invest in there in Michigan.
-Anyone who has ever met Leo knows that his blood is the blood of a natural salesman and next thing you know my Dad is agreeing to go take a look at the land.
- After looking at it and hearing that we had been considering building a house there; he said that he might be interested in making the investment.
When Susan and I first decided to get married and headed up to Heber City to tell my folks it was not what you would call a pleasant conversation. My Dad proceeded to tell me that there was no way I was old enough or smart enough to get married. He also made it very clear that he was not about to finance such an idea. Being a banker by trade he was very much into the risk of a venture and he saw our propositon of marriage as being outside the range of reasonable risk. Since we had very little money at the time, perhaps he was right, but since we loved each other we decided to go ahead with it anyway. Well to end the conversation he again told us that he was against the whole thing and that we should not ever expect to come to him for any financial help.
This had the effect of causing me to be determined to show him that he was wrong. I made up my mind that the last thing I would do is go to him and ask for money. Perhaps that was as rash of me as his statements seemed to be. Since I had little more than pocket money and needed to come up with a ring to make this whole proposal a reality we went to see the Jeweler. He agreed to sell us a ring for very little down and a few dollars a month until it was paid for. His assessment of our situation seemed to be much more upbeat than that of my Dad. We were happy and proceeded to plan for the wedding. The interesting thing about the whole affair came as a surprise after we were married. Shortly after we arrived in Michigan to settle down; an envelope came in the mail and in the envelope was a receipt marked paid in full for the engagement ring and wedding band. Somehow my Dad had found out where we bought the ring and paid the jeweler the balance owed. He indicated that he didn't want us to start out our marriage by being in hock for the ring.
Now after the background story it is time to get back to what was going on at the time.
- My Dad proceeds to buy the property and then agree to quit claim the deed to me so that we could use it as collateral on the home loan. He did this however after explaining to me that even though the deed was in my name, the property was family property and he was simply allowing us to use it to build the house on and hopefully increase the value by doing so.
- I had drawn up a scale plan of the home we envisioned building and a friend suggested an architect he knew who would draw us up some working blueprints to build from for a reasonable fee.
-getting bids from two or three builders to determine what the building costs might be.
- finding a builder who would allow us to do enough sweat equity to make the whole deal work
- With the deed, bids and blueprints in hand, having the bank agree to loan us the money we needed to build the house
-listing the house we were living in for sale and actually finding a reliable buyer this time who would allow us some time before needing to move out
- having Leo and Brenda offer to allow us to move in with them while the house was being built. This allowed us to be close enough to actually do the work we had agreed to do and gave us the extra months that the building process required.
- driving out to the property and seeing that some dirt had actually been moved around and the whole process of building a new house was finally under way.
We had agreed to do the following to keep the costs down:
All of the electrical work from rough wiring to installing the plugs and light fixtures.
All of the supply line plumbing including the sinks and faucets
All of the tile work in the bathrooms and entry foyer
All of the painting, both inside and out including the staining and varnishing of the interior window sills, railings and ceiling in the family room as well as the wallpaper hanging
The rock work up the two story face of the fireplace
Arranging for the purchase and installation of all the carpeting
Purchase and installation of the wood stove furnace in the basement
Any finish work to be done in the basement along with the shelves in the food storage room
So we were very busy from about August 1988 to March 1989 when we finally moved in and still had a few things to finish up even then. After working all day I spent most every spare minute working on the house and it was tiring but there was a very good feeling to be able to look back on having done it. It was indeed one of the good times and created the opportunity for numerous good times to follow. Who needed a trailer when we lived in the woods? It was great to come home from work and feel like you were camping while sleeping in your own bed. When it really snowed during the winter you could honestly say that you had to take the day off because you were snowed in. Most of the time however we kept the road open by using a blade on the back of an old Ford 9N tractor we bought. Even out pushing snow when it was biting cold provided its share of good times. Put on the old snowmobile suit, heavy mittens and hat and head off down the road. Little did we realize in the beginning what changes (mostly positive) lay ahead for us. While there though we met some of the nicest people we have ever met and had some of the best times that life has to offer.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Alas, have we used up all the good times in Utah?
I actually got laid off twice from Hercules and the first time I again followed my good friend Norm to Eimco in downtown in Salt Lake. Working straight nights was not one of the better good times, even though it allowed for a little golf. I was there for about six months before getting called back to Hercules and I went back gladly. It again was a learning experience and had it's interesting moments. I especially liked the handiwork of the night welder who I had to call on when 4" bored hole I was working on turned out a little too big. He was supposed to just put a light coat of weld around the ID so that I could try again to hold the right size. Instead when he got done it looked like the inside of Timpanogas cave. There were monumental size stalagtites and stalagmites both. I could barely get a 1" boring bar to go through the hole to start over again. Then there was the worker who fell asleep and bored right through the part on the lathe into the chuck. He woke up when the chuck was completely bored off from the machine and began to rattle around on his boring bar. And we can't forget the batch of castings that a buyer got a good deal on. It had a bunch of armor plate in it which was melted down along with the other steel which left the castings almost impossible to machine. It certainly served the purpose at the time but I was again anxious to return to the friendly confines of the Hercules Machine shop even though most of the machines were World War II vintage.
When I got laid off the second time my wife at the time, Susan, decided that she had seen enough of Utah and longed to be closer to her family, especially her sister. So rather than look for a new job I agreed to sign on with the family machine shop in Michigan and we prepared to move back. This time it was more of an adventure since my in-laws came out to help us move back and of course we had to bring the boat along. So the good times take up again with their arrival.
- a family trip to Disneyland before the move in the in-laws motor home!
- my first experience with a real estate agent as we needed to sell the house-I only include this along with the good times to document the process to follow
- having my good friend Norm help me load up the truck even though he had moved on to Geneva Steel without me.
- having the real estate agent tell us that he had found a qualified buyer for our Utah home
- seeing the boat headed for all the Michigan lakes on the back of the motor home
- having two year old Brian ride in the moving truck with me
- arriving in Michigan with a job but no car and no place to live-except temporarily with the in-laws; what an opportunity to move forward
- finding a new home in Michigan and coming up with the money to make a down payment
- moving into the new home with a finished basement, two kitchens and two bathrooms
- having my choice of nice lakes to go to with only a half hours drive
- seeing my wife happy to be able to visit her sister as often as she wants
- reconnecting with my old friends Tom & Jan Clark and again visiting his father's cottage
-receiving an offer to work for a prestigious Tool Shop in the area for more money and new opportunities-Dunn Tool
- again learning new job skills and accepting greater responsibilities
- finding out that the deal on our Utah home had fallen through but being able to scrape up enough money to fly out there in order to straighten out the mess
- finally closing on a real buyer when the Utah house eventually sold
- going to the first Star Wars movie and finding it exhilarating
- being part of the bowling team from work and laughing while I watched the other guys get drunk and make fools of themselves while I feasted on Coca Cola
- too many get togethers with Susan's sister's family to count - those were good times!!
- seeing for the first time a very intriguing piece of land that Susan's brother had found south of Howell MI
- what a dream, to own a new home of our own design on 12 1/2 acres of land that borders forest service property - too bad it doesn't seem possible at this point
It is interesting how circumstances change over the years and how people you thought that you could count on the least, turn out to be allies. The future holds many opportunities that we can't possibly see at the time but they come to pass just the same. I have been the recipient of countless good deeds from other people over my life. I have also been very blessed by my Heavenly Father. It is difficult to feel anything but grateful when I look at the sum of the good and bad that has happened. I now find myself in a caring and loving relationship despite my missteps in life and for that I will be eternally grateful.
When I got laid off the second time my wife at the time, Susan, decided that she had seen enough of Utah and longed to be closer to her family, especially her sister. So rather than look for a new job I agreed to sign on with the family machine shop in Michigan and we prepared to move back. This time it was more of an adventure since my in-laws came out to help us move back and of course we had to bring the boat along. So the good times take up again with their arrival.
- a family trip to Disneyland before the move in the in-laws motor home!
- my first experience with a real estate agent as we needed to sell the house-I only include this along with the good times to document the process to follow
- having my good friend Norm help me load up the truck even though he had moved on to Geneva Steel without me.
- having the real estate agent tell us that he had found a qualified buyer for our Utah home
- seeing the boat headed for all the Michigan lakes on the back of the motor home
- having two year old Brian ride in the moving truck with me
- arriving in Michigan with a job but no car and no place to live-except temporarily with the in-laws; what an opportunity to move forward
- finding a new home in Michigan and coming up with the money to make a down payment
- moving into the new home with a finished basement, two kitchens and two bathrooms
- having my choice of nice lakes to go to with only a half hours drive
- seeing my wife happy to be able to visit her sister as often as she wants
- reconnecting with my old friends Tom & Jan Clark and again visiting his father's cottage
-receiving an offer to work for a prestigious Tool Shop in the area for more money and new opportunities-Dunn Tool
- again learning new job skills and accepting greater responsibilities
- finding out that the deal on our Utah home had fallen through but being able to scrape up enough money to fly out there in order to straighten out the mess
- finally closing on a real buyer when the Utah house eventually sold
- going to the first Star Wars movie and finding it exhilarating
- being part of the bowling team from work and laughing while I watched the other guys get drunk and make fools of themselves while I feasted on Coca Cola
- too many get togethers with Susan's sister's family to count - those were good times!!
- seeing for the first time a very intriguing piece of land that Susan's brother had found south of Howell MI
- what a dream, to own a new home of our own design on 12 1/2 acres of land that borders forest service property - too bad it doesn't seem possible at this point
It is interesting how circumstances change over the years and how people you thought that you could count on the least, turn out to be allies. The future holds many opportunities that we can't possibly see at the time but they come to pass just the same. I have been the recipient of countless good deeds from other people over my life. I have also been very blessed by my Heavenly Father. It is difficult to feel anything but grateful when I look at the sum of the good and bad that has happened. I now find myself in a caring and loving relationship despite my missteps in life and for that I will be eternally grateful.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Do people in Utah really have good times?
Utah is always getting criticized for the restrictive alcohol laws or the fact that stores want to be closed on Sundays. Those Mormons are all a bunch of fuddy-duddys who wouldn't recognize a good time if it was staring them in the face. They even have the old fashioned notion that you ought to get married before you have sex. Well many people in the world may believe those wild stories but I am here to tell you that there are good times to be found in Utah and you don't have to get drunk to find them either. How many places can you live where you can golf in the morning and go skiing in the afternoon? Personally I don't do much of either but still manage to enjoy a good time now and then. Here are just a few of the better ones that still stand out in my mind.
- Driving up the canyon for a cool picnic under the pine trees when it is 100 degrees in town
- Did I say that I didn't do much golfing? Well there was a time when I enjoyed that diversion on a regular basis and working afternoons provided the perfect opportunity
- Living close enough to go pick fresh raspberries from my grandfather's berry patch
-Living close enough to walk to church again
- Finding out from my Dad (the banker) that I would qualify for an interest subsidized home loan on a brand new home.
- Also finding out that the house payment would be less than the rent I was already paying
- Following my new best friend Norm from Wasatch Foundry to United Precision - a new job, better pay, more hours and a chance to learn how to operated new machines.
- Dropping by every few days to see our new house take shape from the ground up.
- Stopping by the gas station and filling up for 30 cents a gallon
- Watching the carpenter set up his table saw and build our kitchen cabinets on the spot
- Packing up our belongings and heading for the cornfield in West Jordan-that is what it was before they started building our subdivision.
- Following Norm again from United Precision to Hercules in Magna-if only I had stayed in the new house in West Jordan and continued to work for Hercules I could have retired by now!
- By this time I was earning a whopping $5.00 an hour.
- Discovering the Salt Lake Golden Eagles hockey team at the old Salt Palace
- Making all of the extended families Christmas gifts by hand out of leather
- Getting together with Eldred Bills (my neighbor across the street) and watching Monday Night Football with Howard Cosell, Don Meredith and friends
- When football season ended, getting together with Eldred to build a doll house for his daughters and a model train layout for my sons.
- At 5:00 in the morning finally getting the new train set I had bought for Christmas to work
- Dealing with my addiction to water skiing by ordering a new jet boat with a 455 olds engine
- Hooking up my new boat and heading for Utah Lake or Deer Creek Reservoir before either was a state park
- Watching the poor fellow at Utah Lake who had unhooked his trailer from the truck instead of launching the boat from the trailer try to figure out how to recover his BOAT & TRAILER!!!
- Finally mastering slalom skiing and buying my own Connelly wood ski
- Building a new two car garage to house my new boat and the car
- Calling work to take the day off when I woke up and discovered 4 foot drifts everywhere
- Working 12 hours a day for seven days straight before being laid off from Hercules
You may have noticed by now that the good times are almost inevitably a two edged sword. The interesting part is that there is no set order to when the lows and the highs occur. We seem to have plenty of both but it is usually the highs that are worth remembering. But then any event we survived and can look back at with a certain amount of satisfaction or amusement can usually be considered one of the good times. As I have said before, many times they only qualify to be on the good list after a considerable amount of time has passed Hopefully you are not only taking time to "smell the roses" as you journey through life but are picking a few of them to share with those you care most about.
- Driving up the canyon for a cool picnic under the pine trees when it is 100 degrees in town
- Did I say that I didn't do much golfing? Well there was a time when I enjoyed that diversion on a regular basis and working afternoons provided the perfect opportunity
- Living close enough to go pick fresh raspberries from my grandfather's berry patch
-Living close enough to walk to church again
- Finding out from my Dad (the banker) that I would qualify for an interest subsidized home loan on a brand new home.
- Also finding out that the house payment would be less than the rent I was already paying
- Following my new best friend Norm from Wasatch Foundry to United Precision - a new job, better pay, more hours and a chance to learn how to operated new machines.
- Dropping by every few days to see our new house take shape from the ground up.
- Stopping by the gas station and filling up for 30 cents a gallon
- Watching the carpenter set up his table saw and build our kitchen cabinets on the spot
- Packing up our belongings and heading for the cornfield in West Jordan-that is what it was before they started building our subdivision.
- Following Norm again from United Precision to Hercules in Magna-if only I had stayed in the new house in West Jordan and continued to work for Hercules I could have retired by now!
- By this time I was earning a whopping $5.00 an hour.
- Discovering the Salt Lake Golden Eagles hockey team at the old Salt Palace
- Making all of the extended families Christmas gifts by hand out of leather
- Getting together with Eldred Bills (my neighbor across the street) and watching Monday Night Football with Howard Cosell, Don Meredith and friends
- When football season ended, getting together with Eldred to build a doll house for his daughters and a model train layout for my sons.
- At 5:00 in the morning finally getting the new train set I had bought for Christmas to work
- Dealing with my addiction to water skiing by ordering a new jet boat with a 455 olds engine
- Hooking up my new boat and heading for Utah Lake or Deer Creek Reservoir before either was a state park
- Watching the poor fellow at Utah Lake who had unhooked his trailer from the truck instead of launching the boat from the trailer try to figure out how to recover his BOAT & TRAILER!!!
- Finally mastering slalom skiing and buying my own Connelly wood ski
- Building a new two car garage to house my new boat and the car
- Calling work to take the day off when I woke up and discovered 4 foot drifts everywhere
- Working 12 hours a day for seven days straight before being laid off from Hercules
You may have noticed by now that the good times are almost inevitably a two edged sword. The interesting part is that there is no set order to when the lows and the highs occur. We seem to have plenty of both but it is usually the highs that are worth remembering. But then any event we survived and can look back at with a certain amount of satisfaction or amusement can usually be considered one of the good times. As I have said before, many times they only qualify to be on the good list after a considerable amount of time has passed Hopefully you are not only taking time to "smell the roses" as you journey through life but are picking a few of them to share with those you care most about.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Let the good times roll, ...again!
Now for more of the good times that I have been reminded of.
-having relatives come pick us up in central Iowa when Grandpa Caccia's car broke down on the way to Utah- he had a Lincoln that he let us borrow since it didn't get driven much any more- bad idea since the motor seized up because it had sat around so much
- being able to get last minute airline tickets so we could fly to Utah for my sister's wedding - she was marrying my best friend I hadn't seen for four years because of our mission's
- realizing that I might be earning enough money to buy a brand new car
- deciding on a specific car and ordering it exactly the way I wanted it
- picking up my new Buick GS 400 and taking it out for the first drive
- stepping on the gas and feeling that surge of power as the four barrel carburetor kicks in
- being able to move out of our tiny apt. into the house next door
- going out to the lake with Tom & Jan Clark to go water skiing-I think I'm becoming addicted
- having a brand new car to drive on our family vacation to Utah - all four or us.
- jumping into the swimming pool after a long day of driving
- being able to sleep in your own bed again after an extended vacation
- surviving the crash that totaled my new Buick with only a bump on my forehead
- managing to purchase a new Plymouth Satellite Sebring with the measly settlement I got from the insurance company
- finally buying the last box of diapers since the two boys were now potty trained
- passing my last class to qualify for a Journeyman Tool & Gage Maker's certificate - it helped me to get more than one job
-loading every worldly posession into a modest U-Haul truck for the move to Utah - we had moved up from the Chevy Convertible to the truck and an orange Plymouth
- arriving in Utah without someone stealing our stuff - now what do we do?
My parents were kind enough to allow us to stay with them for a while in order to arrange for an apt and look for a job. Luckily we managed to find both the first week and so we were now ready to move on to Salt Lake and settle in for a while. I went to work for Wasatch Foundry which was night and day opposite of Val-U-Tool where I had worked for the past 4 years. It was a change but the basic skills required were pretty much the same. Working there I met a fellow who was to become my best friend for the next 4 years. We were now close enough to visit my all of my family on a regular basis but then the family vacations became a trip to Michigan to visit with my wife's family again. Well enough for today, now that we are settled in Salt Lake I will pause and pick up from there in a future blog.
-having relatives come pick us up in central Iowa when Grandpa Caccia's car broke down on the way to Utah- he had a Lincoln that he let us borrow since it didn't get driven much any more- bad idea since the motor seized up because it had sat around so much
- being able to get last minute airline tickets so we could fly to Utah for my sister's wedding - she was marrying my best friend I hadn't seen for four years because of our mission's
- realizing that I might be earning enough money to buy a brand new car
- deciding on a specific car and ordering it exactly the way I wanted it
- picking up my new Buick GS 400 and taking it out for the first drive
- stepping on the gas and feeling that surge of power as the four barrel carburetor kicks in
- being able to move out of our tiny apt. into the house next door
- going out to the lake with Tom & Jan Clark to go water skiing-I think I'm becoming addicted
- having a brand new car to drive on our family vacation to Utah - all four or us.
- jumping into the swimming pool after a long day of driving
- being able to sleep in your own bed again after an extended vacation
- surviving the crash that totaled my new Buick with only a bump on my forehead
- managing to purchase a new Plymouth Satellite Sebring with the measly settlement I got from the insurance company
- finally buying the last box of diapers since the two boys were now potty trained
- passing my last class to qualify for a Journeyman Tool & Gage Maker's certificate - it helped me to get more than one job
-loading every worldly posession into a modest U-Haul truck for the move to Utah - we had moved up from the Chevy Convertible to the truck and an orange Plymouth
- arriving in Utah without someone stealing our stuff - now what do we do?
My parents were kind enough to allow us to stay with them for a while in order to arrange for an apt and look for a job. Luckily we managed to find both the first week and so we were now ready to move on to Salt Lake and settle in for a while. I went to work for Wasatch Foundry which was night and day opposite of Val-U-Tool where I had worked for the past 4 years. It was a change but the basic skills required were pretty much the same. Working there I met a fellow who was to become my best friend for the next 4 years. We were now close enough to visit my all of my family on a regular basis but then the family vacations became a trip to Michigan to visit with my wife's family again. Well enough for today, now that we are settled in Salt Lake I will pause and pick up from there in a future blog.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
The parts are greater than the whole!!
In reading some of the blogs of others I am struck by the realization of the effect we all have on one another. We each individually record our thoughts about life around us and the things we encounter as well as the reaction we have to them. These individual efforts create a much broader canvas of thought that tends to flesh out the original ideas and create a greater understanding of the "big picture". We are struck by the humor in the ideas and we feel a certain kinship with the difficulties that others are experiencing. We come to better understand one another in a different way than we sometimes do through direct personal interaction. Our blog is a place where we can perhaps unload ideas that would otherwise grow to be a burden. It is truly therapeutic to just put into words some of the feelings and frustrations that we are experiencing.
I recently read an entry in my sister's blog that struck home with me. She was venting about problems she was having with the phone company. I have been there a number of times through the years and have often wondered why it had to be so difficult. It seems like there is no one person we can speak to that will help us with the problem. We are always referred to a supervisor or some other department. My frustration with the phone company have ended though now that I have wireless broadcast internet and no home phone. I simply have no reason to interact with them in any way. But there are endless other instances where I need to get the problem resolved and no one seems able to help me. I wish that phone trees had never been invented because they are the most annoying part of the process. I can't even call my local credit union or the post office without being connected to some central "answering service" that usually can't answer my question anyway. I sympathize with the travails of others and pray that someday, somehow real personal service will again be part of our lives.
It is also good to read the thoughts and reactions of my niece in regard to agency. By taking the experiences and thoughts of others on a subject and weaving them into a better understanding of our own thoughts, we all benefit. It is certainly true that we all wish we had done many things better. We also wish that we hadn't done some things at all. But in the end it is the exercise of agency by others that causes us the most frustration. I certainly would never want to take away the agency of others but wish that it affected me less. The only one that we have control over though is ourselves and so I must do all that I can to avoid causing others grief by my actions. We had an enjoyable 4th of July and hope that everyone else out there did as well. Let's all just keep plugging along and do the best that we can.
I recently read an entry in my sister's blog that struck home with me. She was venting about problems she was having with the phone company. I have been there a number of times through the years and have often wondered why it had to be so difficult. It seems like there is no one person we can speak to that will help us with the problem. We are always referred to a supervisor or some other department. My frustration with the phone company have ended though now that I have wireless broadcast internet and no home phone. I simply have no reason to interact with them in any way. But there are endless other instances where I need to get the problem resolved and no one seems able to help me. I wish that phone trees had never been invented because they are the most annoying part of the process. I can't even call my local credit union or the post office without being connected to some central "answering service" that usually can't answer my question anyway. I sympathize with the travails of others and pray that someday, somehow real personal service will again be part of our lives.
It is also good to read the thoughts and reactions of my niece in regard to agency. By taking the experiences and thoughts of others on a subject and weaving them into a better understanding of our own thoughts, we all benefit. It is certainly true that we all wish we had done many things better. We also wish that we hadn't done some things at all. But in the end it is the exercise of agency by others that causes us the most frustration. I certainly would never want to take away the agency of others but wish that it affected me less. The only one that we have control over though is ourselves and so I must do all that I can to avoid causing others grief by my actions. We had an enjoyable 4th of July and hope that everyone else out there did as well. Let's all just keep plugging along and do the best that we can.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
How to get more good times---
I am going to stray away from my chronology of the good times to share some of my feelings about what causes them. The root of the discussion is free agency; how important it is, how wise use of it brings about good times and how the use of it affects others. To start with, agency is the very basis of our life here on earth and actually one of the reasons that we are here. It is indeed our Heavenly Father's plan. Developing the ability to make good choices is both the key to our success and perhaps the hardest thing we will do here in this life. With the ever increasing multitude of influences attempting to sway us away from the "right choice" it only becomes more difficult. Yet the only way to obtain or increase "the good times" is to become better at making the right choice.
The reason for that is we are given the right to make our own choices but we have no control over the result or consequences of those choices. We choose and then, as the song goes, "let the consequences follow". Unfortunately these end results of our choices are not always easily seen at the time we make the choice. This tells us that perhaps we should try to look at and understand what result our choice will have. I totally support the principal of agency and the right of others to make their own choices. I have been blessed by the results of good choices and I have unfortunately also been confronted with the results of bad choices. It is however the choices of others and the result that they have had on me that sometimes causes me the most concern. Part of that is because I care about them and want them to experience the good times.
The other part of that is the grief that someone elses poor choice to bring to many around them.
I would like to suggest some possible choices for you to ponder on the consequences of those choices to others. In doing so I am only attempting to share some of my feelings and not to condemn anyone. Again, we all have the right to choose but hopefully we will attempt to consider the consequences of those choices as well as the effect on those around us.
What if-----
I choose to take something that doesn't belong to me?
I choose to say things which aren't true about others?
I choose to start smoking?
I choose to eat more than is healthy for me?
I find better things to do than go to church?
I see no harm in being intimate with those other than my spouse?
School is a bore so I have better things to do with my time?
I fail to complete assigned responsibilities that are given to me?
I choose to get even when I feel that I have been offended or wronged?
This job is too tough for me so I choose to quit?
My "friends" offer me a drink and I accept, not wanting to offend them?
I choose to end an eternal commitment by filing for divorce?
I have the attitude that I am going to make sure that I get what is coming to me regardless?
I can always change tomorrow since I am busy or too tired today?
I've decided that living part of what I believe is good enough- it is better than none?
The plan is simply enjoy today because tomorrow may never come?
Well enough attempt at stimulation for today. I need this exercise once in a while in order to try and get my priotities back in line. It doesn't always work for me since I do have the right of agency but the consequences are ever present. Hopefully it will help to spark a desire for change in you as well. Agency is the best gift we have been given but only wise use of it will increase the value. The good times lie just around the corner as well as in the past but will we do what is needed to enjoy them? Next time back to more of the good times. Oh, and by the way some of our good times come as a result of good choices others have made so help those you care about by making good choices.
The reason for that is we are given the right to make our own choices but we have no control over the result or consequences of those choices. We choose and then, as the song goes, "let the consequences follow". Unfortunately these end results of our choices are not always easily seen at the time we make the choice. This tells us that perhaps we should try to look at and understand what result our choice will have. I totally support the principal of agency and the right of others to make their own choices. I have been blessed by the results of good choices and I have unfortunately also been confronted with the results of bad choices. It is however the choices of others and the result that they have had on me that sometimes causes me the most concern. Part of that is because I care about them and want them to experience the good times.
The other part of that is the grief that someone elses poor choice to bring to many around them.
I would like to suggest some possible choices for you to ponder on the consequences of those choices to others. In doing so I am only attempting to share some of my feelings and not to condemn anyone. Again, we all have the right to choose but hopefully we will attempt to consider the consequences of those choices as well as the effect on those around us.
What if-----
I choose to take something that doesn't belong to me?
I choose to say things which aren't true about others?
I choose to start smoking?
I choose to eat more than is healthy for me?
I find better things to do than go to church?
I see no harm in being intimate with those other than my spouse?
School is a bore so I have better things to do with my time?
I fail to complete assigned responsibilities that are given to me?
I choose to get even when I feel that I have been offended or wronged?
This job is too tough for me so I choose to quit?
My "friends" offer me a drink and I accept, not wanting to offend them?
I choose to end an eternal commitment by filing for divorce?
I have the attitude that I am going to make sure that I get what is coming to me regardless?
I can always change tomorrow since I am busy or too tired today?
I've decided that living part of what I believe is good enough- it is better than none?
The plan is simply enjoy today because tomorrow may never come?
Well enough attempt at stimulation for today. I need this exercise once in a while in order to try and get my priotities back in line. It doesn't always work for me since I do have the right of agency but the consequences are ever present. Hopefully it will help to spark a desire for change in you as well. Agency is the best gift we have been given but only wise use of it will increase the value. The good times lie just around the corner as well as in the past but will we do what is needed to enjoy them? Next time back to more of the good times. Oh, and by the way some of our good times come as a result of good choices others have made so help those you care about by making good choices.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Opening up a new understanding of the good times
- for the first time feeling new life in my wife's belly and seeing the ever present nausea begin to subside
- planning and buying things for the new arrival
- hearing from the doctor that everything looks to be normal and is progressing well
- having my wife back after 4 months of endless nausea and serious dehydration from being unable to keep much of anything down
- after a middle of the night trip in the backseat of my father-in-law's car, arriving at the hospital without the baby's arrival
- finally being asked to scrub and gown up so that I could join my wife in the labor room
- seeing that greasy but unbelievably beautiful little human being take his first look at the world and draw his first breath
- holding for the first time this miniature young man and upon examination, realizing that he was perfectly put together and physically able to cope with life - thank you Heavenly Father
- after numerous trips to the hospital being able to take my wife and new son home
- putting my large finger into his tiny hand and having him grasp it tightly
- noticing that my wife has her shapely form back and then some because of breast feeding
- after untold diaper changes, feedings and sleepless nights beginning to realize the awesome responsibility that now was ours
- seeing him able to sit up, roll over, respond to my voice, smile, crawl and countless other little things that he has developed the ability to do
- after ten months watching him become mobile as he finally masters the art of walking
- watching as his communication skills grew to the point that you could actually understand what he said and that he in turn, understood you
- beginning to realize that he was a unique individual with feelings, wants, abilities and challenges despite our intimate involvement in his life.
- 18 months from the first time, waking up to the realization that the whole process had begun again and that it wouldn't be just the three of us in another eight months
This process in fact repeated itself 7 times for me and my wife. Six of those resulted in strong healthy sons while only 1 resulted in a stillborn son who was only about 4 months along. Despite his untimely arrival he had a suprisingly well developed body and features. Each time it was a special thing to see this precious little individual come into the world. Each time I dreaded the early period, not for what it caused me but for the great physical discomfort and jeopardy that it put my wife in to go through it. After each experience I felt that maybe we were asking for too much to be able to have another because of the strain and misery that it caused her. But she seemed to think that there was another spirit waiting to come and was willing to go through it all to help create this new life. Perhaps there was the hope that the next one would be a girl. Unfortunately it never came to be as we wound up with six sons. I have come to believe that there is little in life which can cause you more joy or grief than your children. Fortunately the good times are what you remember most and what you wish with all your heart for those children. This brings me to the concept of free agency which I plan to spend some time reminiscing about in my next entry.
- planning and buying things for the new arrival
- hearing from the doctor that everything looks to be normal and is progressing well
- having my wife back after 4 months of endless nausea and serious dehydration from being unable to keep much of anything down
- after a middle of the night trip in the backseat of my father-in-law's car, arriving at the hospital without the baby's arrival
- finally being asked to scrub and gown up so that I could join my wife in the labor room
- seeing that greasy but unbelievably beautiful little human being take his first look at the world and draw his first breath
- holding for the first time this miniature young man and upon examination, realizing that he was perfectly put together and physically able to cope with life - thank you Heavenly Father
- after numerous trips to the hospital being able to take my wife and new son home
- putting my large finger into his tiny hand and having him grasp it tightly
- noticing that my wife has her shapely form back and then some because of breast feeding
- after untold diaper changes, feedings and sleepless nights beginning to realize the awesome responsibility that now was ours
- seeing him able to sit up, roll over, respond to my voice, smile, crawl and countless other little things that he has developed the ability to do
- after ten months watching him become mobile as he finally masters the art of walking
- watching as his communication skills grew to the point that you could actually understand what he said and that he in turn, understood you
- beginning to realize that he was a unique individual with feelings, wants, abilities and challenges despite our intimate involvement in his life.
- 18 months from the first time, waking up to the realization that the whole process had begun again and that it wouldn't be just the three of us in another eight months
This process in fact repeated itself 7 times for me and my wife. Six of those resulted in strong healthy sons while only 1 resulted in a stillborn son who was only about 4 months along. Despite his untimely arrival he had a suprisingly well developed body and features. Each time it was a special thing to see this precious little individual come into the world. Each time I dreaded the early period, not for what it caused me but for the great physical discomfort and jeopardy that it put my wife in to go through it. After each experience I felt that maybe we were asking for too much to be able to have another because of the strain and misery that it caused her. But she seemed to think that there was another spirit waiting to come and was willing to go through it all to help create this new life. Perhaps there was the hope that the next one would be a girl. Unfortunately it never came to be as we wound up with six sons. I have come to believe that there is little in life which can cause you more joy or grief than your children. Fortunately the good times are what you remember most and what you wish with all your heart for those children. This brings me to the concept of free agency which I plan to spend some time reminiscing about in my next entry.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Now for the really good times
-Learning that you get to take the train to Detroit and spend the Christmas holiday with your newly found sweetheart.
- Finally having a girl that you adore agree to marry you for the eternities
- At last, kneeling across the altar with your eternal soulmate as you are sealed to each other
- Realizing that your days of curling up in bed by yourself may indeed be over
- Opening all the presents at the biggest party you have ever attended and realizing that you and your wife are the guests of honor
- Letting out a big sigh of relief when you are reminded that the dating scene is behind you
- Soaring to undreamed of heights as you experience one of those intimate moments intended to be shared only by married couples
- Setting out on your first great married adventure as you load everything you own into the Chevy Impala convertible and head for Michigan
- Driving over the summit by Silverton CO and looking out as far as the eye can see, as well as down a long long ways
- Stopping at your first motel in Dodge City Kansas and finding out you have a private garage
Great for hiding that car full of all that you own
- Arriving in Michigan only to have another reception and get even more presents
- Shopping for furniture to decorate your first apt at the Salvation Army
- Coming home from work to the girl of your dreams and being greeted at the door with a kiss
- Arriving home from school to find that the bed was already warm
- Going down to the Detroit river and making my first attempt at water skiing
-Seeing my showoff brother-in-law face plant into the river and lose his sunglasses as he tried to start skiing while sitting on the dock
- Heading out on my second great married adventure as we headed for Alabama with my brother-in-law and his wife
- Spending the night in our pop up tent camper halfway between Westland MI & Opeleika AL
- Running like the dickens to avoid the aftermatch when the dynamite a new found relative had planted in an old dead tree goes off - there was wood flying everywhere- it was crazy
- Meeting my firsts family who had a large color tv but no indoor plumbing
- Taking a shower with the garden hose out in the yard in a makeshift shower stall.
- Being thankful for all that I have as I saw a level of poor I had never before experienced
- Coming back home to the tiny apt that we call our own
- Having the shop where I worked only about 200 feet from the house
- Being able to come home for lunch and perhaps a bit of afternoon delight
- Learning that all the intimacy we had been sharing was the cause of my wife's nausea, we were going to be parents, ready or not
Well enough for today even though the good times keep rolling on. I will try to discuss the next chapter in my life during a future post. In the meantime, hug the person you care most about ( and it can't be yourself ), kiss everyone that you dare and tell all that you meet to enjoy their own special good times.
- Finally having a girl that you adore agree to marry you for the eternities
- At last, kneeling across the altar with your eternal soulmate as you are sealed to each other
- Realizing that your days of curling up in bed by yourself may indeed be over
- Opening all the presents at the biggest party you have ever attended and realizing that you and your wife are the guests of honor
- Letting out a big sigh of relief when you are reminded that the dating scene is behind you
- Soaring to undreamed of heights as you experience one of those intimate moments intended to be shared only by married couples
- Setting out on your first great married adventure as you load everything you own into the Chevy Impala convertible and head for Michigan
- Driving over the summit by Silverton CO and looking out as far as the eye can see, as well as down a long long ways
- Stopping at your first motel in Dodge City Kansas and finding out you have a private garage
Great for hiding that car full of all that you own
- Arriving in Michigan only to have another reception and get even more presents
- Shopping for furniture to decorate your first apt at the Salvation Army
- Coming home from work to the girl of your dreams and being greeted at the door with a kiss
- Arriving home from school to find that the bed was already warm
- Going down to the Detroit river and making my first attempt at water skiing
-Seeing my showoff brother-in-law face plant into the river and lose his sunglasses as he tried to start skiing while sitting on the dock
- Heading out on my second great married adventure as we headed for Alabama with my brother-in-law and his wife
- Spending the night in our pop up tent camper halfway between Westland MI & Opeleika AL
- Running like the dickens to avoid the aftermatch when the dynamite a new found relative had planted in an old dead tree goes off - there was wood flying everywhere- it was crazy
- Meeting my firsts family who had a large color tv but no indoor plumbing
- Taking a shower with the garden hose out in the yard in a makeshift shower stall.
- Being thankful for all that I have as I saw a level of poor I had never before experienced
- Coming back home to the tiny apt that we call our own
- Having the shop where I worked only about 200 feet from the house
- Being able to come home for lunch and perhaps a bit of afternoon delight
- Learning that all the intimacy we had been sharing was the cause of my wife's nausea, we were going to be parents, ready or not
Well enough for today even though the good times keep rolling on. I will try to discuss the next chapter in my life during a future post. In the meantime, hug the person you care most about ( and it can't be yourself ), kiss everyone that you dare and tell all that you meet to enjoy their own special good times.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Exactly what are the good times???
Yesterday I was reminiscing about thoughts that came to me as I looked through a number of old pictures I had. I mentioned that one of the thoughts was being able to remember the go0d times. If they were so good then why do I need help remembering them? In some cases they have become good times only through the passage of time. In other cases they have been crowded out by less appreciated but more recent times and memories. Sometimes it is the end result of numerous things having occurred through the years that I just recently saw as being good times. In any case I wanted to take a few minutes and share with you what I thought were some of those good times. Hopefully it will spark a feeling of recognition for you regarding the good times in your life. Perhaps it will just give you something to look forward to as you experience good times in the coming years.
Exactly what are the good times?
-your first recognition that making the right choice comes with some sort of reward
-finally mastering being able to ride a bicycle with no help
-experiencing the feeling that comes from having a good friend you can rely on
-finally being able to go to school like the older kids you know
-learning to read for yourself instead of having the book read to you
-getting praise or perhaps an "A" on a school assigment that you worked very hard on
-finally being old enough to go to Junior High School or High School
-after much practice, acquiring the skill to dribble the basketball and run at the same time
-the acquisition of that long awaited and treasured drivers license
-asking a girl for a date and actually having her say that she would be glad to go
-getting up enough courage to finally kiss a girl without botching the job
-having a steady girl friend that you know will go to the dance with you
-completing a season of participating in Legislative Forum by winning the state meet
-after some setbacks and mountains of hard work you finally have a High School Diploma
-having your first quality job providing money to finance your activities and desires
-being worthy to go on a mission and receiving that long awaited mission call
-as you kiss your sweetheart goodby-- knowing that she will be there waiting in two years
-finding that golden contact to teach the gospel to and performing their baptism
-arriving home from your mission and finding your loved ones to greet you ....
everyone that is except for your sweetheart who sent you a dear john letter, married
an unlikely prospect and is due to have her first child in a couple of months
-coming to the realization that you are now free to date anyone you want
-learning a great deal about yourself while playing the field and dating a broad variety of
exceptional young ladies --- some encounters being arranged by others
-being accepted to attend BYU --in those days they took most everyone who applied
-passing college chemistry and geometry with an "A"
-having a car of my own and having my uncle paint it for me (it was an emerald green color
and he said that he thought it looked like a refrigerator with orange peel textured paint
-having a terrific selection of dating prospects in the dance class that I signed up for
-having a young lady that I had recently met broach the subject of marriage with me
Well enough for today with more good times and heavy breathing to follow!
Exactly what are the good times?
-your first recognition that making the right choice comes with some sort of reward
-finally mastering being able to ride a bicycle with no help
-experiencing the feeling that comes from having a good friend you can rely on
-finally being able to go to school like the older kids you know
-learning to read for yourself instead of having the book read to you
-getting praise or perhaps an "A" on a school assigment that you worked very hard on
-finally being old enough to go to Junior High School or High School
-after much practice, acquiring the skill to dribble the basketball and run at the same time
-the acquisition of that long awaited and treasured drivers license
-asking a girl for a date and actually having her say that she would be glad to go
-getting up enough courage to finally kiss a girl without botching the job
-having a steady girl friend that you know will go to the dance with you
-completing a season of participating in Legislative Forum by winning the state meet
-after some setbacks and mountains of hard work you finally have a High School Diploma
-having your first quality job providing money to finance your activities and desires
-being worthy to go on a mission and receiving that long awaited mission call
-as you kiss your sweetheart goodby-- knowing that she will be there waiting in two years
-finding that golden contact to teach the gospel to and performing their baptism
-arriving home from your mission and finding your loved ones to greet you ....
everyone that is except for your sweetheart who sent you a dear john letter, married
an unlikely prospect and is due to have her first child in a couple of months
-coming to the realization that you are now free to date anyone you want
-learning a great deal about yourself while playing the field and dating a broad variety of
exceptional young ladies --- some encounters being arranged by others
-being accepted to attend BYU --in those days they took most everyone who applied
-passing college chemistry and geometry with an "A"
-having a car of my own and having my uncle paint it for me (it was an emerald green color
and he said that he thought it looked like a refrigerator with orange peel textured paint
-having a terrific selection of dating prospects in the dance class that I signed up for
-having a young lady that I had recently met broach the subject of marriage with me
Well enough for today with more good times and heavy breathing to follow!
Monday, June 23, 2008
The effect that the past has on you.
Recently I have had a little time to get some projects done that had been on hold. One of those projects was to try and digitize many of the old slides and photos that I had accumulated through the years. The project took on a large scope when my brother David planned an extended family reunion for this summer. I then decided to try and gather all of the old photos of ancestors as well as parents, brothers & sisters and their kids. It turned out to be one heck of a pile of photos. But I have managed to get a good share of them done and with the reunion coming up on the 14th of July it is a good thing. I hope to be able to compile a CD with family info and all of the applicable photos that I have found to show at the reunion.
While I have been doing this I was struck with the effect that looking at all these old pictures has had on me. It is fun to be reminded of the good times and it puts a smile on my face to see some of these old pictures. It gives me a sense of belonging to see pictures of and read about some of my ancestors. It gives me a sense of satisfaction to look at pictures of my kids when they were very young and realize that they have managed to become responsible adults in some cases. It causes a great deal of sorrow to see that poor choices have prevented some from being able to reach that goal. There are instances of having reached the goal and then slipped back as well as instances of turning things around to create a positive situation. As I look at pictures from my first marriage which lasted for 30 years and should have lasted for 60 or 70 I am struck with many emotions. A feeling of being cheated out of things that could have been. Sorrow that trying for the 30 years to make it work ended in failure. Pure joy at seeing pictures of the good times and being reminded of how it felt to experience those things. The feeling of exhilaration and anticipation that filled the beginning of the relationship. The feeling of despair and defeat that surrounded the end. The bitterness and distrust that was directed at me by those I cared the most about. But most of all a feeling of bewilderment at what truly went wrong and what could I possibly have done to have prevented it.
I have also experienced the realization that good friendships are not necessarily forever and the circumstances in life can drastically alter them. Divorce is a devastating force that reaches into every corner of a person's life as well as the lives of those around you. Certain times and places foster special relationships but then people move on and move around limiting the ability to maintain those friendships. But the memories, kept alive by the pictures, don't have to go away. And now in the age of computers we have a unique opportunity to reconnect in new ways and to share not only the memories but the modern day adventures.
Many of these pictures are priceless to me. One regret is that I don't have better quality pictures of some of the events, people and places. In today's world with digital cameras it is easy to take numerous pictures. But hopefully we are taking the time t0 create good quality pictures and trying to record honest emotion in the eyes and faces of our subjects. That is why candid pictures of young children are so special; they aren't afraid to show real emotion allowing us to capture it for preservation.
Well enough of this for today. It has been a very therapeutic experience looking through all of these pictures and recording my thoughts about them as well. Hopefully it will inspire you to take better pictures recording the memories that will endure. Don't be afraid to express a little honest emotion it looks good on everyone I know. Do whatever you can to preserve the thoughts and experiences you are having; not only for your posterity but for you to look back on in the future.
While I have been doing this I was struck with the effect that looking at all these old pictures has had on me. It is fun to be reminded of the good times and it puts a smile on my face to see some of these old pictures. It gives me a sense of belonging to see pictures of and read about some of my ancestors. It gives me a sense of satisfaction to look at pictures of my kids when they were very young and realize that they have managed to become responsible adults in some cases. It causes a great deal of sorrow to see that poor choices have prevented some from being able to reach that goal. There are instances of having reached the goal and then slipped back as well as instances of turning things around to create a positive situation. As I look at pictures from my first marriage which lasted for 30 years and should have lasted for 60 or 70 I am struck with many emotions. A feeling of being cheated out of things that could have been. Sorrow that trying for the 30 years to make it work ended in failure. Pure joy at seeing pictures of the good times and being reminded of how it felt to experience those things. The feeling of exhilaration and anticipation that filled the beginning of the relationship. The feeling of despair and defeat that surrounded the end. The bitterness and distrust that was directed at me by those I cared the most about. But most of all a feeling of bewilderment at what truly went wrong and what could I possibly have done to have prevented it.
I have also experienced the realization that good friendships are not necessarily forever and the circumstances in life can drastically alter them. Divorce is a devastating force that reaches into every corner of a person's life as well as the lives of those around you. Certain times and places foster special relationships but then people move on and move around limiting the ability to maintain those friendships. But the memories, kept alive by the pictures, don't have to go away. And now in the age of computers we have a unique opportunity to reconnect in new ways and to share not only the memories but the modern day adventures.
Many of these pictures are priceless to me. One regret is that I don't have better quality pictures of some of the events, people and places. In today's world with digital cameras it is easy to take numerous pictures. But hopefully we are taking the time t0 create good quality pictures and trying to record honest emotion in the eyes and faces of our subjects. That is why candid pictures of young children are so special; they aren't afraid to show real emotion allowing us to capture it for preservation.
Well enough of this for today. It has been a very therapeutic experience looking through all of these pictures and recording my thoughts about them as well. Hopefully it will inspire you to take better pictures recording the memories that will endure. Don't be afraid to express a little honest emotion it looks good on everyone I know. Do whatever you can to preserve the thoughts and experiences you are having; not only for your posterity but for you to look back on in the future.
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