Opening up a new understanding of the good times

- for the first time feeling new life in my wife's belly and seeing the ever present nausea begin to subside
- planning and buying things for the new arrival
- hearing from the doctor that everything looks to be normal and is progressing well
- having my wife back after 4 months of endless nausea and serious dehydration from being unable to keep much of anything down
- after a middle of the night trip in the backseat of my father-in-law's car, arriving at the hospital without the baby's arrival
- finally being asked to scrub and gown up so that I could join my wife in the labor room
- seeing that greasy but unbelievably beautiful little human being take his first look at the world and draw his first breath
- holding for the first time this miniature young man and upon examination, realizing that he was perfectly put together and physically able to cope with life - thank you Heavenly Father
- after numerous trips to the hospital being able to take my wife and new son home
- putting my large finger into his tiny hand and having him grasp it tightly
- noticing that my wife has her shapely form back and then some because of breast feeding
- after untold diaper changes, feedings and sleepless nights beginning to realize the awesome responsibility that now was ours
- seeing him able to sit up, roll over, respond to my voice, smile, crawl and countless other little things that he has developed the ability to do
- after ten months watching him become mobile as he finally masters the art of walking
- watching as his communication skills grew to the point that you could actually understand what he said and that he in turn, understood you
- beginning to realize that he was a unique individual with feelings, wants, abilities and challenges despite our intimate involvement in his life.
- 18 months from the first time, waking up to the realization that the whole process had begun again and that it wouldn't be just the three of us in another eight months
This process in fact repeated itself 7 times for me and my wife. Six of those resulted in strong healthy sons while only 1 resulted in a stillborn son who was only about 4 months along. Despite his untimely arrival he had a suprisingly well developed body and features. Each time it was a special thing to see this precious little individual come into the world. Each time I dreaded the early period, not for what it caused me but for the great physical discomfort and jeopardy that it put my wife in to go through it. After each experience I felt that maybe we were asking for too much to be able to have another because of the strain and misery that it caused her. But she seemed to think that there was another spirit waiting to come and was willing to go through it all to help create this new life. Perhaps there was the hope that the next one would be a girl. Unfortunately it never came to be as we wound up with six sons. I have come to believe that there is little in life which can cause you more joy or grief than your children. Fortunately the good times are what you remember most and what you wish with all your heart for those children. This brings me to the concept of free agency which I plan to spend some time reminiscing about in my next entry.

Photobucket Album

Now for the really good times

-Learning that you get to take the train to Detroit and spend the Christmas holiday with your newly found sweetheart.
- Finally having a girl that you adore agree to marry you for the eternities
- At last, kneeling across the altar with your eternal soulmate as you are sealed to each other
- Realizing that your days of curling up in bed by yourself may indeed be over
- Opening all the presents at the biggest party you have ever attended and realizing that you and your wife are the guests of honor
- Letting out a big sigh of relief when you are reminded that the dating scene is behind you
- Soaring to undreamed of heights as you experience one of those intimate moments intended to be shared only by married couples
- Setting out on your first great married adventure as you load everything you own into the Chevy Impala convertible and head for Michigan
- Driving over the summit by Silverton CO and looking out as far as the eye can see, as well as down a long long ways
- Stopping at your first motel in Dodge City Kansas and finding out you have a private garage
Great for hiding that car full of all that you own
- Arriving in Michigan only to have another reception and get even more presents
- Shopping for furniture to decorate your first apt at the Salvation Army
- Coming home from work to the girl of your dreams and being greeted at the door with a kiss
- Arriving home from school to find that the bed was already warm
- Going down to the Detroit river and making my first attempt at water skiing
-Seeing my showoff brother-in-law face plant into the river and lose his sunglasses as he tried to start skiing while sitting on the dock
- Heading out on my second great married adventure as we headed for Alabama with my brother-in-law and his wife
- Spending the night in our pop up tent camper halfway between Westland MI & Opeleika AL
- Running like the dickens to avoid the aftermatch when the dynamite a new found relative had planted in an old dead tree goes off - there was wood flying everywhere- it was crazy
- Meeting my firsts family who had a large color tv but no indoor plumbing
- Taking a shower with the garden hose out in the yard in a makeshift shower stall.
- Being thankful for all that I have as I saw a level of poor I had never before experienced
- Coming back home to the tiny apt that we call our own
- Having the shop where I worked only about 200 feet from the house
- Being able to come home for lunch and perhaps a bit of afternoon delight
- Learning that all the intimacy we had been sharing was the cause of my wife's nausea, we were going to be parents, ready or not
Well enough for today even though the good times keep rolling on. I will try to discuss the next chapter in my life during a future post. In the meantime, hug the person you care most about ( and it can't be yourself ), kiss everyone that you dare and tell all that you meet to enjoy their own special good times.

Exactly what are the good times???

Yesterday I was reminiscing about thoughts that came to me as I looked through a number of old pictures I had. I mentioned that one of the thoughts was being able to remember the go0d times. If they were so good then why do I need help remembering them? In some cases they have become good times only through the passage of time. In other cases they have been crowded out by less appreciated but more recent times and memories. Sometimes it is the end result of numerous things having occurred through the years that I just recently saw as being good times. In any case I wanted to take a few minutes and share with you what I thought were some of those good times. Hopefully it will spark a feeling of recognition for you regarding the good times in your life. Perhaps it will just give you something to look forward to as you experience good times in the coming years.

Exactly what are the good times?

-your first recognition that making the right choice comes with some sort of reward

-finally mastering being able to ride a bicycle with no help

-experiencing the feeling that comes from having a good friend you can rely on

-finally being able to go to school like the older kids you know

-learning to read for yourself instead of having the book read to you

-getting praise or perhaps an "A" on a school assigment that you worked very hard on

-finally being old enough to go to Junior High School or High School

-after much practice, acquiring the skill to dribble the basketball and run at the same time

-the acquisition of that long awaited and treasured drivers license

-asking a girl for a date and actually having her say that she would be glad to go

-getting up enough courage to finally kiss a girl without botching the job

-having a steady girl friend that you know will go to the dance with you

-completing a season of participating in Legislative Forum by winning the state meet

-after some setbacks and mountains of hard work you finally have a High School Diploma

-having your first quality job providing money to finance your activities and desires

-being worthy to go on a mission and receiving that long awaited mission call

-as you kiss your sweetheart goodby-- knowing that she will be there waiting in two years

-finding that golden contact to teach the gospel to and performing their baptism

-arriving home from your mission and finding your loved ones to greet you ....

everyone that is except for your sweetheart who sent you a dear john letter, married

an unlikely prospect and is due to have her first child in a couple of months

-coming to the realization that you are now free to date anyone you want

-learning a great deal about yourself while playing the field and dating a broad variety of

exceptional young ladies --- some encounters being arranged by others

-being accepted to attend BYU --in those days they took most everyone who applied

-passing college chemistry and geometry with an "A"

-having a car of my own and having my uncle paint it for me (it was an emerald green color

and he said that he thought it looked like a refrigerator with orange peel textured paint

-having a terrific selection of dating prospects in the dance class that I signed up for

-having a young lady that I had recently met broach the subject of marriage with me

Well enough for today with more good times and heavy breathing to follow!

The effect that the past has on you.

Recently I have had a little time to get some projects done that had been on hold. One of those projects was to try and digitize many of the old slides and photos that I had accumulated through the years. The project took on a large scope when my brother David planned an extended family reunion for this summer. I then decided to try and gather all of the old photos of ancestors as well as parents, brothers & sisters and their kids. It turned out to be one heck of a pile of photos. But I have managed to get a good share of them done and with the reunion coming up on the 14th of July it is a good thing. I hope to be able to compile a CD with family info and all of the applicable photos that I have found to show at the reunion.
While I have been doing this I was struck with the effect that looking at all these old pictures has had on me. It is fun to be reminded of the good times and it puts a smile on my face to see some of these old pictures. It gives me a sense of belonging to see pictures of and read about some of my ancestors. It gives me a sense of satisfaction to look at pictures of my kids when they were very young and realize that they have managed to become responsible adults in some cases. It causes a great deal of sorrow to see that poor choices have prevented some from being able to reach that goal. There are instances of having reached the goal and then slipped back as well as instances of turning things around to create a positive situation. As I look at pictures from my first marriage which lasted for 30 years and should have lasted for 60 or 70 I am struck with many emotions. A feeling of being cheated out of things that could have been. Sorrow that trying for the 30 years to make it work ended in failure. Pure joy at seeing pictures of the good times and being reminded of how it felt to experience those things. The feeling of exhilaration and anticipation that filled the beginning of the relationship. The feeling of despair and defeat that surrounded the end. The bitterness and distrust that was directed at me by those I cared the most about. But most of all a feeling of bewilderment at what truly went wrong and what could I possibly have done to have prevented it.
I have also experienced the realization that good friendships are not necessarily forever and the circumstances in life can drastically alter them. Divorce is a devastating force that reaches into every corner of a person's life as well as the lives of those around you. Certain times and places foster special relationships but then people move on and move around limiting the ability to maintain those friendships. But the memories, kept alive by the pictures, don't have to go away. And now in the age of computers we have a unique opportunity to reconnect in new ways and to share not only the memories but the modern day adventures.
Many of these pictures are priceless to me. One regret is that I don't have better quality pictures of some of the events, people and places. In today's world with digital cameras it is easy to take numerous pictures. But hopefully we are taking the time t0 create good quality pictures and trying to record honest emotion in the eyes and faces of our subjects. That is why candid pictures of young children are so special; they aren't afraid to show real emotion allowing us to capture it for preservation.
Well enough of this for today. It has been a very therapeutic experience looking through all of these pictures and recording my thoughts about them as well. Hopefully it will inspire you to take better pictures recording the memories that will endure. Don't be afraid to express a little honest emotion it looks good on everyone I know. Do whatever you can to preserve the thoughts and experiences you are having; not only for your posterity but for you to look back on in the future.

And in the beginning there was dirt and those old as dirt.

I find that most of the people my age don't have the same set of computer skills many of the younger generations have. I have always been fascinated by computers from the time that the first apple computer came out. My skills are somewhat limited but I have over twenty years of experience with that fascination. Now it is time to put some of it to work documenting many of the rambling thoughts that pass through my mind. I have been exposed recently to a number of blogs. Beginning with my second oldest son about a year ago and more recently other stepchildren, my sister and her kids along with other relatives. I may be the only one interested in what I write but it sounds like a therapeutic experience to me. It will give me an excuse to create some sort of diary as well as a way to communicate with numerous people all at once. Besides the whole process of setting it up and customizing it the way you want it to be appeals to me. So if it never seems to look the same twice then you will know that I am still trying to find the end result that best suits me or else I just love to fiddle.